Cursive - By Phoebe Lane Page 0,101
away," he said and looked straight into her eyes. "You know I can't go with you tomorrow, yet you made this decision without taking that into consideration. This really feels like we're taking a step back."
"I'm sorry. I'm not trying to do that. I just think I need to do this on my own," Aislynn said after what felt like forever. "I'm not trying to hurt you."
"Are you sure about this? You want to go do this alone?" he asked, and Aislynn nodded. Jace walked over to the bed and stood in front of her. It was clear in his eyes that he was surrendering his efforts at convincing her to stay. "All right, then."
Aislynn couldn't sleep that night and neither could Jace. He woke up in the middle of the night and walked out of the bedroom without noticing Aislynn was also awake. She heard the clinking of ice in a glass and imagined him drinking his scotch out on the deck, worried and frustrated with her.
But I can't turn back now. I need to do this.
Being in Texas was much harder than Aislynn had anticipated. She had been there for twenty-four hours, but she had been pretty much stagnant. After arriving at the airport, she picked up a rental car and drove straight to her old apartment, the home she had shared with Christopher but still kept after she moved away. After sitting in the car for two and a half hours biting her nails, pulling at her hair and shredding the paper coffee cup into one hundred fifty-seven pieces, she finally gathered enough courage to walk to the door. That’s where she stood for another fifteen minutes.
After finally putting the key in the lock, opening the door, and walking inside, she allowed the memories to hit her with the force of a category five tropical hurricane. The apartment looked exactly the same as when she had left it, but the scent of the place was the thing affected her the most.
It still smells like him.
She looked around the space, the ache in her heart increasing exponentially with each passing second. She sat on the living room floor, her back resting against the sofa, and bawled. She cried her heart out. She thought about grabbing some of the personal things she had left behind, but she couldn't stand being there any longer. She finally found the thing she had specifically come for and left the apartment, locking it behind her for what she hoped would be the very last time.
She drove to the Sparks' house, and sat in the car for thirty minutes, not able to even look up at the house. Memories flashed in her head, the most memorable one being the day they had come over to tell his parents about their engagement. In the midst of hugs and congratulations, Aislynn had realized that by marrying Christopher, she was bound to become part of a family again.
In a rare connection of thoughts, her mind turned to Jace and his family. She remembered them sitting around the kitchen island, eating pizza straight out of the boxes, and arguing over politics and football. She missed their playful banter, the fluency of their relationships, and how unafraid they were to express their love for each other in their own unique ways. She wanted to be part of his family, and the thought didn't even scare her anymore.
She finally gave up and drove to a local coffee shop, waiting for her nerves to calm down and for the nausea to go away. She then returned to the Sparks' house, this time successfully getting out of the car, and feeling like her purse weighed a ton due to the very important item she was carrying inside it.
Before she could take a step to cross the street and walk to their doorstep, Mrs. Sparks walked out of the house. She looked up at Aislynn, froze in place, blood drained from her face. Aislynn felt the air leave her lungs and the nausea come back.
They looked at each other for a few seconds, tears involuntarily forming in Aislynn's eyes, not a word spoken between them. Aislynn forced out an "I'm sorry" that Mrs. Sparks could've only made out due to the movement of her lips, because no sound actually came out of her mouth. Aislynn turned around, got back in her car, and drove off feeling like a complete failure.
I was wrong. I can't do this…I can’t do this alone.
"Hey," Aislynn said on