Cursive - By Phoebe Lane Page 0,100

don't know if I can—"

"I don't want an answer right now. I'll be in touch with you in the next few days," she said, getting up from her chair. "And start thinking about pen names. I already have one picked out for you in my head, but I don't want to be too pushy."

Too late for that.

In addition to scaring her to no end, the meeting with Lana ended up being an important turning point for Aislynn. On a superficial level, she figured that she might as well get something positive out of all the crap she had had to live through in her lifetime and decided to continue writing about it. On a deeper level, Aislynn kept hearing Lana’s words on a continuous loop inside her head.

This right here is everything you've been trying not to write about, but need to.

It suddenly dawned on her that there was something else, something key to her situation that Aislynn did not want to do, but really needed to. And if going against her instinct was the answer, like Lana had suggested, then she needed to force herself to do this.

It was going to be heart breaking.

It was going to be uncomfortable.

It was going to be life-altering to other people besides herself.

It was going to be all those things, but it was absolutely and undeniably necessary.

I need to go back to Texas.

"Jace?"

"I'm asleep," he murmured, not even moving his head up from her lap. He loved to lie in bed and watch movies while Aislynn lazily played with his hair.

"You are?" she asked, her eyebrow arching up.

"Yes, I am. I'm fully asleep, and I'm having an amazing dream. You're in it, and you're naked right now," he said, his eyes still closed, his hands slowly creeping up her leg.

"You're being extremely eloquent for an unconscious person," she said and watched him sit up. "Can we talk for a minute?"

"Sure, what's on your mind?" he asked as his smile faded and the mood in the room changed.

"I've…I think…" Aislynn said, stumbling with her words. She forced a deep breath in and out and closed her eyes for a few seconds. "I'm going back to Texas."

"Wha…Umm…What?"

"I've decided to go back. I want to…I need to talk to Christopher's parents."

"Oh…wow. Okay…" he said, his face troubled.

"I need to tell them the truth about what happened to him," she said, nervous butterflies in her stomach.

"You think this the right time to have that conversation with them? Do you really feel ready to do that?" he asked.

"I really don't," Aislynn said, shaking her head. "I know it sounds counterintuitive, but the fact that it scares the crap out of me tells me it's the right thing to do. I have to get this out if I really want to move on with my life."

Jace thought about it for a few seconds and readjusted his position so that he was sitting right across from her, his hands holding hers. "I need to ask you something, and I know we've talked about it before, but humor me, please." Aislynn nodded her head in affirmation, and he continued, "Is this about you, or is this about Christopher?"

"What?" Aislynn asked, confused.

"I don't care to compete with the memory of a dead man, Aislynn. I need to know that this isn't about you still being in love with him."

"It's not about him," Aislynn said immediately. "This is about me and the things I need to do to get better. I'm not in love with Christopher anymore, but I need to grieve him, and I need to go to Texas to set this baggage down."

"Okay, I guess I can understand that," he said, but avoided eye contact.

"I'm leaving tomorrow," Aislynn whispered.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I have to do it. There's no point in waiting."

Jace squared his shoulders, got up, and paced in front of the bed. Aislynn could see the muscles in his jaw flexing even from where she was sitting.

This reaction—it can't be just about me leaving.

"Why are you mad?" she asked.

Jace scoffed, and paced even faster. He pulled at his hair in frustration and refused to look at her. Aislynn took some time to retrace the steps of their conversation, trying to pinpoint exactly where it had turned the corner into Pissed & Clueless.

"You're shutting me out again, Aislynn."

Oh…oh!

"I'm sorry. I didn't think…" Aislynn trailed off, not knowing how to explain what she was thinking or feeling. It was all very unsettling.

"I want to be there for you, but you keep pushing me