haven’t been struggling.” I push her over and slap the tattoo on her delectable ass cheek. “No more talking about our fucking feelings, woman. It’s time for you to get your massive tits and juicy ass in gear. The dumber half of the Faraday clan will be here in thirty minutes.”
“Josh and Kat are coming over?”
“Yeah, I invited them for dinner.”
“Well, yeehaw! Why didn’t you say so, hubsters?”
“Because it was a surprise. Now get your delicious ass in gear, wife. It takes you five times longer to do anything these days, hauling those gigantic tits around. Chop chop.”
Chapter 3
Sarah
Jonas opens the door and Kat’s mini-me tears into the room, giggling and squealing at the top of her lungs.
“Hello, beautiful,” Jonas coos to his towheaded niece. He kneels down and she leaps into his muscled arms. “Gimme my kisses, Gracie.”
Gracie quickly begins peppering her uncle’s face with kisses, exactly the way he’s trained her to do it since she could first form a pucker with her little lips.
“Oh, thank you,” Jonas says. “Such sweet kisses. Oh, wait, I think you missed a spot.” He tilts his chin to her and she lays a wet one right on it. “Thank you, baby. Oh, whoops. Another spot.” He turns his chiseled cheek to her and she obliges him. “Oh, that was an extra good one. Thank you.”
As usual, watching Jonas with Gracie makes me swoon—I can only imagine how I’m going to melt onto the floor on a daily basis when I get to witness him with our own babies. “My turn,” I say, hauling my big-ass belly off the couch. “Come over here and gimme some of those kisses.”
Jonas puts Gracie down and she instantly barrels toward me like a rocket.
“Careful of Auntie Sarah’s belly,” Jonas calls after her.
“Oh, she’s fine, Jonas,” I say, just before Gracie slams into me like a linebacker. “My goodness, look who’s wearing her sparkly-pink cowgirl boots,” I say.
“She wants to wear those pink sparkle-boots twenty-four-seven,” Kat says, taking off her coat to reveal her petite baby bump. “Hey, girl,” Kat says, kissing my cheek.
“Hey, Kitty Kat.”
Kat flops onto the couch with a big sigh. “The minute Gracie opens her eyes in the morning, it’s ‘Sparkie boots!’ And at night, when I make her take them off for bath time, she throws a fit. ‘Sparkie boots! Sparkie boots! Grassy sparkie boots!’” Kat lets out a dinosaur-like shriek in apparent mimicry of her strong-willed child. “I’m convinced the girl’s actually a pterodactyl in a toddler suit.”
I sit down next to Kat on the couch. “I see no reason why my sweet and angelic niece can’t sleep in whatever sparkly footwear she desires.”
“Ha! I’m gonna remind you of that ridiculous comment when your own ‘sweet and angelic’ children are barreling toward their terrible twos on a one-way bullet train.”
“Aw, Gracie would never throw a fit,” I say, hugging Gracie to me like I’m shielding her from the cruel barbs of her mean mommy. “Don’t let your mommy defame you with such malicious lies.” I nibble Gracie’s neck. “Nom, nom, nom. I love me some Gracie.”
Gracie squeals.
“You like the pretty sparkle boots I got you, boo?”
“Grassy luh da boots.”
“Well, that’s good because I love you.” I pucker and Gracie instantly smashes her wet lips into mine. “Mmm,” I say. “Yummalicious.”
“Yummaleesh,” Gracie repeats, and I laugh.
“Amazeballs?” I prompt.
“Mayzbilz.”
I giggle with glee. “Holy crappola,” I say slowly.
“Holuhcrup.”
I laugh again and Gracie’s face lights up. I could play the “repeat after me” game with Gracie all day long. It never gets old.
“You funny,” Gracie says to me, and I laugh. This is her recent catchphrase, and I absolutely love it.
“I funny,” I agree.
“Hey, Sarah Cruz,” Josh says, breaking away from his front-door conversation with Jonas and striding across the room toward me. “What the hell are you teaching my daughter?”
I stand up from Gracie to give Josh a hug. “Only the most important words in the English language.”
“Damn, girl, you’re fucking huge,” Josh says.
“Josh,” Kat warns.
“Sorry.” Josh glances at Gracie. “Darn, girl, you’re effing huge.”
“That’s not what I’m censoring you about. Sarah’s not huge.”
“It’s okay,” I say. “Yes, I am.” I pat my massive bump. “Pretty soon, the earth’s gonna start orbiting me.”
Kat opens her mouth to refute me but then shrugs with resignation. “Well, I’m not too far behind you,” she finally says, obviously conceding the point. She pats her own belly, but it’s a ridiculous comparison.
“Ha!” I say. “My belly could swallow yours like Pacman on a little white dot.”
“So, how’s