man lose focus during a job that he’d done for years.
“So, you guys are mercenaries?” Cecilia asked as we walked into the brightly lit store a few minutes later.
“Something like that.”
“Something like that, or exactly that?” she asked as I grabbed a cart.
“We work for a government contractor that primarily does jobs overseas,” I clarified.
“And you’re the boss, right?”
“No,” I replied. “We’re a team.”
“But you’re the leader.”
“Not really.”
“They call you Chief,” she pressed.
“Just a nickname.”
“But it seemed like Forrest was in charge tonight,” she mused as we headed toward the back of the store. “He was in charge tonight, but they still deferred to you most of the time.”
“No one is in charge,” I said, leaning my elbows on the handle of the cart. “We’re not on a job. When we’re on a job, yeah, I usually take the lead.”
“Mmhmm,” she hummed.
“Does it matter?” I asked.
“Not really,” she shrugged. “Come on, baby stuff is this way.”
I followed her as she navigated the store and purposefully didn’t let my gaze drop below the middle of her shoulder blades.
“Bingo,” she announced when we hit the diaper aisle. “Okay, newborn size…shit. There’s like forty different brands here.”
“Doubt it matters,” I replied.
“How would you know?” She sounded slightly panicked.
I stared at her. “They catch shit, Cecilia,” I said slowly. “They’re all gonna end up in the trash anyway. Any of them should work.”
“Good point,” she muttered. Dropping her purse into the cart, she turned to me. “Hold her for a second?”
Wait a fucking minute.
“Please,” she said. “It’ll be way easier if I have two hands.”
Without waiting for me to respond, the tiny person was pressed against my chest, and I had no choice but to hold on to her.
“Support her head. I’m going to look at the labels first,” Cecilia said as she turned away, completely ignoring the fact that the earth had just tilted on its axis, and I was standing there with what amounted to a seven pound bomb in my hands.
The baby jerked, and I fumbled to catch her little bobble head before it rolled right off the back of her neck. Jesus, she was so small. Her bald head was kind of cone shaped still, and I wondered how long it would be before it rounded out a bit. She didn’t look like Cecilia, but I couldn’t imagine she looked like anyone. Her features were so tiny, and the only distinguishable feature she had were a pair of pouty lips that I assumed must have come from her dad. She curved back against me and I could feel every vertebrate down her spine beneath the thin blanket and nightgown she had on. She smelled like Cecilia.
“I’m just going to get these ones,” CeeCee said, lifting a box of diapers from the shelf. “They’re the ones the hospital uses, so they should be a safe bet.”
I followed Cecilia around the baby department while she grabbed supplies, growing more and more confused as she filled the cart. When she’d said that she wasn’t prepared for the baby, I’d assumed she’d meant that she had some holes in her supplies. From what I was seeing, though, Cecilia must not have had a single thing. Why the hell wouldn’t she have been at least a little prepared? Didn’t women have baby showers and shit? She’d had nine months to prepare.
“Shit,” she said, coming to a stop. She glanced at full the cart. “We should’ve grabbed the car seat first.”
“Pick which one you want,” I replied, handing the baby back to her. “I’ll carry it.”
She walked down the line of strollers and car seats, stopping at each one so she could read the tags. Then she pulled out her phone and started reading something there. Finally, she pointed to the one she wanted.
“That one has the best reviews,” she said, her fingers pressed to her lower lip.
The gesture made everything inside me pause. I wasn’t even sure if I was breathing as memories flooded back. She’d always done that lip thing, for as long as I’d known her. It was a nervous habit that I wasn’t even sure she was aware of. Her Grandma Rose had done the same thing. When they were stressed or worried or thinking about something, they pulled at their lower lip.
“This one?” I asked, the words coming out gravelly.
“Yep.” She took a step back so I could grab the box. “It isn’t the fanciest one here, but it has the best ratings.”
“That’s usually a good thing,” I assured her, lifting