has very stubborn ideas about how things should go.”
“Yeah.”
“He doesn’t hate you, CeeCee,” she said quietly.
“He doesn’t like me, either.”
“He loves you,” she said, and I scrunched up my face in horror, making her scoff. “Not like that, idiot. He’s in love with your sister to the point of obsession. But you’re family. You’ve always been family, and you’ll always be family.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“If he didn’t consider you family, he wouldn’t give a fuck what you did, or who you decided to be with,” she pointed out. “He remembers how it was after Woody left you, and he’s not going to forgive him for it—or agree with you going back to him.”
“It’s not his place to forgive, and I don’t need his permission.”
“I know,” she said. “Give him some time. He’ll see how the two of you are together and soften. He probably already has—which is why you should go see him.”
“I don’t mean to be rude,” I replied, my lips twitching as my mom started dropping into a crouch and shaking her booty, “but I’ve got about all I can handle already. Leo’s feelings are pretty low on my priority list.”
“That’s fair,” she said, reaching out to pat my arm. “But you saved his life and you should give him the opportunity to thank you.”
“I didn’t save him,” I said, my voice rising.
I was strung tight. Mark still wasn’t back, and I was starting to worry. I’d been cooped up in the clubhouse longer than I wanted to think about. My hormones were still out of control. And even though people were being nice to me, I still didn’t feel comfortable around any of them, knowing that, at any moment, I could say the wrong thing and suddenly be persona non-grata.
I didn’t trust them, and it made every conversation I had become like some sort of minefield that I had to pick my way through. I finally snapped.
“It was my fault that Drake Warren was even there. I’m the reason Leo was run off the road. I’m the reason that he’s in the hospital. So, stop saying that I saved him. I’m the one who got him hurt.” By that point I was shouting, and the clubhouse grew silent around me as someone shut off the music.
“I’m the reason your dad was shot,” Brenna said, yelling back at me. It startled me so much that I slid off the stool to my feet and backed up a step. The room was silent for a beat.
“I’m the reason my parents died,” Aunt Callie said. “Your grandparents.”
“I knew the man that was responsible for the shooting that killed our family,” Trix said quietly. “The guys tried to keep it a secret, but I know.”
“I almost got my children killed when I got into the car with a man I knew wasn’t right and my son bore the scars of that for years,” my mom said, her eyes pained as she watched me. “My daughter was shot, and I didn’t even notice.”
“I kept it a secret when I knew my best friend was being hurt,” Hawk said, pushing her blue hair away from her face. “And he died before I ever stood up for him.”
“Not your fault,” Aunt Callie said, shaking her head.
“I left my dad behind, knowing that the moment I did—he was dead,” Molly said, all signs of drunkenness gone. “I still left.”
“Shit, I dated a guy that betrayed the club, and when I was finally shot of him, he hired skinheads to torture and kill us,” Rose spat, looking at Mack. “And because of that, Kara almost lost her dad.”
“I made you do that,” Mack said quietly. “You didn’t have a choice.”
“I had a choice,” Rose replied guiltily.
Everything was silent as I took in the different guilty and regret-filled expressions in the room.
“Don’t look at me. I’m an angel,” Lily muttered, lightening the mood slightly. “I need a drink.” She got up and headed toward the end of the bar.
“Bottom line,” Rose said, looking at me. “All of us have been through some shit—and most of us know that we were at least partly responsible. You’re not the only one, or even the most tragic. So stop lurking around the clubhouse and hiding in your room. The only person blaming you, is you.”
“That’s not true—”
Rose lifted her hand and made a flicking motion that irritated the shit out of me. “Emotions were high,” she said in dismissal.
“Maybe if you weren’t such a bitch all the time, I