no part of us is touching. I want to reach out for him badly but also realize I have to ease into it, especially after a night like we had.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
“I should be asking you the same.”
“I’ve had a hundred years to get used to not having Caiden in my life. The circumstances have partly changed. He’s still not back where I’d like him. He’s not in my life. What I’m having a hard time coming to terms with is that he’s not the same brother I remember. I didn’t expect him to be. It’s been too long, but he’s not a good shifter. He’s not my brother anymore.”
Reaching out, Whit lays his palm against the side of my neck. Sparks emerge where we touch. I’m not used to it yet. I’m sure I will be in time. I welcome the connection. “He’s still your brother, Cam. Maybe it’s like you said. He could have been brainwashed. We don’t know. I did comb through his mind but was limited with what I saw. There’s a block up I couldn’t break down. I think the only ones who could would be Sol or Eloise. Maybe Ford or Ari.”
“No.” I shake my head. “I don’t want any of them involved. If we expose that we saw Caiden, it will draw too many questions. Plus, to put one of them in front of my brother… I’m not sure I can do that.”
“I get it. It was just a suggestion.”
“I appreciate you trying to reach that part of him.”
“He never killed anyone. I saw it in his mind.”
“It doesn’t erase the other things he’s done. The orders he’s given.”
“No, it doesn’t.” Whit chews on his bottom lip. I have the sudden urge to pull his lip back out and suck on the tender flesh. “Can I… Can I hold you?”
I give him a small smile and move forward until we’re wrapped around each other. What starts out as him wanting to embrace me turns into us both finding comfort in each other. It relaxes my entire body.
Eventually, Whit tucks his head under my chin, presses his ear to my chest, and falls asleep. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d be here with him. He’s my mate. Whit is everything I ever wanted yet was scared to hope for. He’s such a complex array of emotions. Some a few have the privilege of seeing. Some I feel are reserved just for me.
He’s strong and courageous yet kind and loving. He wants to help others. Aries made the right call by allowing him on the team. He’ll bring that soft demeanor with him that will help with the beings we rescue, just like it did tonight. We’re all intimidating, not that Whit isn’t, but he has this gentleness about him that’s amazing.
It’s a while before I start to drift off to sleep and even then, I don’t fully go under. It could be the events of the evening still playing through my head. The fear that I could have lost Whit. I try to stay still as to not disturb him, although I end up waking him unintentionally when I move.
Whit slides off my chest to lie beside me. His eyes open. Their color so brilliant in the low light of the morning. “Did you sleep at all?” he asks. I shake my head. “We went through a lot. Your body needs to reenergize.”
“I know. I just can’t seem to shut my mind off. Too many things keep playing through it.” I can’t seem to focus on anything but his lips and the way his tongue glides over his plump bottom one. “Kiss me, Whit.”
His eyes widen. “What? Now?”
I chuckle. “Yes, now, unless you don’t want to.” That small, insecure side of me shows and I hate it. I hate feeling vulnerable but, if I have to in front of someone, I’m glad it’s Whit.
“I do,” Whit answers shyly. A blush rises up on his cheeks and it’s adorable to witness.
Leaning forward, I brush my lips against his. It sends electricity through me. “I could have lost you tonight.”
He pulls back to look into my eyes. “And I could have lost you. There’s no way to tell what’s going to happen. This was just the first mission I was on. I understand us going in together, but I think we have to figure out a way to work as one where we become fluid. Always aware of each other. Always