what a good job I’m doing, and you can bring my good boots over that I need for my costume.’
I opened my mouth to reply, but she carried on.
‘Thanks, Mum. And thanks for the pumpkins, Gabe – what are you going to do with the second one? Can I have this one and you do one with zombies on for Rory?’
‘Yes, but I shall have to finish it tomorrow, if your mum is okay with me coming back to do it? Or would you rather I took the other one down to Thea’s and did it there?’
They were both looking at me. Poppy had the bright-eyed eager gleam that meant she was expecting results, and Gabriel was looking at me steadily. There was almost a touch of expectancy in his look too, now I thought about it, maybe linked to that brief moment we’d shared on the sofa.
‘I…’
There was a banging at the back door that sounded as though someone was kicking a bucket, then a sudden gust of cold air. ‘Is it all right if I fill the water up from your tap? Only Patrick needs a drink and I want to be able to put the kettle on first thing.’
We all jumped, as though the ghost of Mr Coombes had dragged itself into the living room.
‘Of course, Mary,’ I eventually called back, when my heart had settled down. ‘Help yourself. Do you need a hand with the container?’
The scoff that came through was very audible. ‘Don’t be daft, girl. I’ve been hefting this thing about since before you could walk. Gabriel can help me.’
Poppy was about to speak, clearly to point out the contradictory nature of this statement, but Gabriel was getting to his feet and I shook my head at her. ‘I’ll come back to finish off that pumpkin, then, tomorrow?’ He made it a question.
‘Yes, of course, that would be nice.’
‘I’ll come and help you with Granny Mary’s bucket,’ and Poppy and Gabriel were gone, leaving me sitting in front of the spitting wood-burner. My heart was beating quickly, and at first I thought I was still reacting to the shock of Mary’s calling through the house, but gradually I realised that it was the prospect of seeing Gabriel tomorrow.
I was actually looking forward to it. The feeling was so strange that I didn’t recognise it, but there had been something in the way he’d taken my hand, something in the way he’d sat listening to me that had made me – what? Feel differently? Notice him as a man?
Then I shook my head. Nothing was going to happen with Gabriel. He was nice, but… we had the world’s largest chaperone in the garden anyway.
Besides, Mary was right. If I wanted anything to happen between me and him, I’d have to tell him about my past, and I didn’t want to do that.
I got up and straightened the cushions, drew the curtains across the darkening window. Stopped for a second in the middle of the room, which was now lit only by the flickering flames through the narrow glass pane in the stove door. From the kitchen I could hear Poppy giggling, carefree, happy. No expectations on her, other than making a decent attempt at her exams, no weight of a prospective future pulling her down.
I couldn’t do it.
I left the room and closed the door firmly behind me.
12
Poppy left for school the next morning clutching bags of things she might need over the next week. I had to carry some of them to the bus stop for her, as her full rucksack kept giving way at the zip, although she wouldn’t let me stay and wait for the bus with her.
‘Mu-u-u-u-u-um, I’m fourteen! They’ll think you’ve got, like, issues if you wait for the bus with me! I mean, durrr…’ She made flapping motions with her hands. ‘It’s okay, I’ll text you. And I’ll see you on Thursday at the café anyway, and don’t forget, it’s the black boots with the heels, not the other ones, cos those would be stupid, they’re somewhere in my room. Don’t forget.’ The flapping motions increased. ‘Bus will be here in a minute. Mu-u-u-u-um!’
I gave in and went round the house to the front door. I didn’t want to go in the back way in case Granny Mary was sitting outside the caravan waiting to give me the benefit of her experience or cadge some more biscuits.
Just before I went inside, I looked at Harvest Cottage. I rarely looked