caveman would drag you into his cave. I get that you’re trying to ward people off, but you could do it with a bit of fucking taste.”
I scoffed, aware that Billy’s words stemmed from my insecurities. “I’ll think about it.”
“Don’t think, just do it. Hell, make Locke’s head turn for once. He barely blinks at you, you know.”
I shot vampire looking Billy a dry expression. “I don’t want Locke’s attention.”
“Yes, you do. Part of you would feel good if a powerful hot guy like that turned to look at you a little more.”
My insides warmed. I let out another laugh. “I’m so crazy right now,” I exclaimed, slamming my palm against my forehead. “I’m talking to myself out in the open.”
Billy waved his hand in a dramatic fashion around us. “In front of all the people?”
I bit my lip at the deserted yard, chuckling. “You’re just a figment of my fucked-up imagination.”
“Yeah, and how cool am I now?”
I rolled my eyes. “Alright, Billy, you can fuck off now.”
“No more crying, Charlotte. Time to toughen up.”
“Toughen up by dressing good?” I asked dryly.
Billy grinned, eyeing me closely. “If you get into the habit now, think of how gobsmacked Conor will be when he sees you for the first time in eight years. If he convinced himself to move on, how long do you think it’ll last when you’re looking your best?”
Ghost Billy had a point.
I wrapped my arms around my legs and buried my face in my knees, daydreaming about the moment I reunited with Conor.
What was it going to be like?
“Are you thinking of me right now?” I wondered aloud, lost in my trance. “Are you in your cell, remembering how good we were together?”
Billy leaned back against the step and looked up at the sky. “He’s thinking of you, Char.”
“How do you know?”
“Because he loves you. Because he killed me…for you.”
Tears fell from my eyes as I looked at Billy. “I like you better this way.”
“This way?” He dramatically looked himself over. “All manly and pale and dead?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, Billy, all manly and pale and dead.”
“Just think,” he said with a sad smile, “we were friends once. You slept in my bed and we made forts out of pillows and blankets. We were close. What happened to us, Char?”
I frowned, feeling my heart slow. “I don’t know, Billy. Time changed you…and it changed me, too.”
Would time change Conor?
Would what we had survive all these years apart?
That night I dropped Penny off at Megan’s for a sleepover with Lily. Then I loaded up on wine and decided to feel sorry for myself. I drank myself stupid on the couch, crying over pictures of Conor and I, while I had soft music playing in the background.
It was so pathetic.
But I told myself I would be this pathetic one last time. Billy was right. I would toughen up. I would smile and be positive and I would make the most out of life. Not for me, but for Penny.
I was filling up on another glass of wine when a soft knock sounded. I sat still, straining to hear. When they came again, a little louder than before, I stood up and wandered to the door.
I didn’t unlatch the chain lock or turn the porch lights on when I opened the door a bit to peek out. My tense shoulders relaxed at the sight of Jem, standing in front of me, looking uncertain. I shut it again, unlatched the lock, and opened the door wide.
“Hey,” I whispered.
“Hey,” he whispered back, looking over the state of me.
I was aware my eyes were glazed, and I looked wrecked. It wasn’t my finest moment, and I wished he hadn’t come around to see me a mess. As I took him in, though, I noticed he wasn’t any better. His hair was ruffled, like he’d raked it through his hand many times. His leather jacket looked wrinkled, and his face was exhausted.
“Look at us,” I chuckled dryly.
He smiled sadly. “Aren’t we a happy bunch?”
“Yeah.”
He stepped closer and leaned down to my level, looking sincere when he said, “Darling, I’m so sorry for what I said this morning. I haven’t stopped seeing your crying face in my head all day.”
I looked sincere. “Don’t be sorry, Jem.”
“I feel like I have to explain myself,” he rushed out, looking distraught now. “Can I come in?”
I nodded and opened the door wider for him. I stepped aside, but as he came through, I noticed how close he was