not saying what I should.”
Well damn. Like dayumn. My heart fluttered, and for a second, I almost wanted to say I hoped he could really pull it off.
But I didn’t think it was possible for anyone, not just him. Too much had happened and damage done.
Instead, I decided to say something I knew would at least help him keep control, since he needed to. His family kept people safe, and they couldn’t afford the problems his losing control would have.
“River, I wasn’t doing anything bad,” I whispered. “I’m not looking for another mate. I hurt, and I went to have fun and dance. I’m free to do what I want, and you have to let me fly when I need to. I deserve that. I deserve to pick my mate and if the time is ever right, to mate, not have one forced on me.”
“He’s sorry,” Hudson mumbled. “That makes more sense to him. He didn’t want to give you space, and maybe he was right that I made the wrong decision. I thought I was doing what was best by you. I want to do what’s right so badly, Tamsin, but I just don’t know what makes it worse or helps.”
I nodded I heard him and stepped away. I couldn’t answer that for him, and not because he should figure it out on his own… But because I didn’t know the damn answers either.
I really fucking wished I did.
We were almost to the portal when Mel stopped me, nodding for the others to start going through. “I have one thing I need to say, and I’ll go back to quietly supporting you however you need.”
“Okay,” I sighed, thinking that was fair, and she had been really great at keeping her opinions on this to herself… Something practically unheard of for Mel.
“I’m rooting for you to forgive Darby and take him back.”
Well that was not what I had expected, and I wondered if my jaw had touched the actual ground, or it simply felt like it.
She nodded after giving me a few moments with that. “I am.”
“I figured you would push for Hudson,” I admitted.
She looked away, but not before I saw she wanted that too. “I can’t be objective on that. I love you both. I was there when he was born. It’s in my family’s DNA to do what’s best for the Vogels, and you are what’s best for him. But I love you too, and I don’t know he’s best for you. Darby is though.”
“I can’t—”
“Let me finish, because you’ve been ignoring stuff that you need to know to make the right decision.” She waited until I nodded. “He will blow his entire family apart when the chips land. It’s not just his dad and grandfather, but his brother. His uncles were part of it, any male Moore was groomed to be part of it. He fell apart and went on a bender after he learned that’s part of why there aren’t many Moores.”
My eyes went wide, understanding she meant some fairies had won when they’d tried to abduct them, killing members of his family.
She swallowed loudly. “Yeah, it wasn’t his grandfather or dad going rogue. It’s deep—sick—but deep in his bloodline. He’s convinced his grandma and mom had to know and… It’s been bad, but he’s doing it because it’s right. Yes, it’s because he loves you, but I absolutely believe he would have done this, even if he’d never met you. So do my cousins.”
“That’s a lot to try and get over,” I rasped, my heart aching for him.
“Yes, but he’s desperate for you guys to get over it together and heal.” She sighed when I simply bobbed my head. “There’s more to what he thought his family did. You should hear it from his lips, but my mom called me a few months ago when he was drunker than shit and blabbing all about it. I get taking a break and both of you trying to process and heal separately, but I think you need to at least talk to him.”
I swallowed loudly. “Would you forgive him? Could you move forward with him? Really? We both lied and—”
“Yes and yes,” she cut in, her tone firm.
Shock rocked me. “How? Why?”
“You both lied—though I’m not sure his was a lie, as he truly had no idea it was about fairies—to protect yourselves. And you weren’t at the stage of your relationship to tell all your secrets. That’s normal, Tams. You were going through something completely