flags. Including ones that could have you standing before a council, demanding you prove yourself.”
Damn. I couldn’t even argue that. It was smart and looking ahead to protect me. It sounded exactly like something Craftsman would have argued before he abandoned me.
She must have seen in my aura that I agreed because she continued. “We also side with you a lot—validly, as we’re on your side and agree. But as you rail against elites getting whatever they want, it could look like favoritism, as people knew I ‘chaperoned’ you this summer. You’re already placing out of other classes, three is too many.”
“And the other two have very easy and solid explanations, but there are other strong sophomores. Why can I place out? That’s going to bring attention to my being undeclared or poking at me in ways we don’t want.” Fuck.
“Yes, that was another of his arguments. So, as I said, his original motives were clearly to keep you near him—I could see it in his aura—but he was fighting to protect you. I could see that too.” She tapped her fingers on her desk and seemed to come to some internal decision. “He loves you, Tamsin. His love is—”
“Wasn’t strong enough to accept me, it abandoned me even,” I whispered as I pushed to my feet. “Thanks for explaining it to me. I appreciate that, and I won’t even give Edelman shit. I know we all have a lot on our plates. I just needed to know he wasn’t trying to be the boss of me again. That has drawn a lot of eyes at well.”
“Agreed, but no, he promised he would speak with you. Something probably—most definitely—came up.” She cleared her throat when I went for the door. “Will you forgive him?”
I waved it off. “Yeah, it’s fine.”
“I meant Craftsman.”
I flinched, freezing with my hand on the doorknob. “I can’t. It was too much. I can’t come back from that and not worry every second of every day he won’t simply forget and abandon me again. He’s not the only one with shit.”
“That’s fair, but you also didn’t see how he suffered. He’s… He lost so much weight struggling with his issues, completely unkempt, and a shell of himself. It got worse after what happened with Collins, to the point Edelman and I had to talk with him. It was only after that he’s been slowly pulling himself out—”
“I can’t. I’m sorry, but I can’t hear this or care,” I rasped. “I’m trying to save several species of my people and stay alive, White. He did this to us, his issues or not. I was understanding for months. Loving him almost completely destroyed me. I cannot—I won’t go back.”
I wouldn’t stay for that conversation, taking down the barrier and rushing out of there. I also didn’t want her to see me cry. She was one of the strongest women I knew and three months later, I was still crying if I even had to talk about Craftsman. She would be disappointed in me for that.
I was.
7
“Is it worked out?” Izzy asked when I walked into our new room. I went right for my sword case and she sighed. “I guess not.”
“No, it is, and I get it, but we know his intentions weren’t pure to keep me in his class,” I grumbled. “I’ll help unload when Marshall gets here with the truck.”
“It’s fine. Get it out, Tams.”
I nodded and left again. There wasn’t much to handle with just Mel’s SUV. Five of us were returning to campus, and it was simply easier to borrow one of Calloway’s big delivery trucks. She was fine with it, as we always left some extra fae fruit or goodies for her personally when we used it.
My temper didn’t spark enough that I did anything stupid, like wander off into the campus woods alone when my guards were at a meeting and so was Mel. I did learn from my mistakes or lapses… Or so I told myself.
Instead, I went to the training center. I doubted Coach Khan would be around, given he was lazy as fuck, and most of the other faculty were in meetings. Campus wasn’t really even open yet, so it seemed the perfect place.
I took off my boots and socks before taking out my sword. I didn’t want to risk scuffing the gym floor that I would have to handle later and get annoyed again. Plus, the boots weren’t the best to wear while going through drills. Colton had