but piercing, and all my happy memories of last night start curdling in my mind, going bad fast.
I wrap the sheet around myself and go to the window to pull the curtain closed. No one needs to see the aftermath of what I thought was the start of something perfect, only to have it go up in a puff of smoke with the rising of the sun.
The pimply receptionist kid is standing by the door to the reception room, and he locks eyes with me as I reach for the curtain. I know he saw a lot of what went on in our room last night, I just know it, but I’d prefer not to think about that. I’d prefer not to think of anything. Maybe I’ll be able to sleep through the rest of the regret for not listening to the logical part of my brain that told me not to fuck Colt last night, but instead string him along until I get what I need from him too.
But I needed the pleasure and orgasms he gave me. I needed them badly. And I need more.
“Good morning,” he says behind my back, startling me so bad I shake.
He’s standing in front of the bathroom, wearing his jeans and no shirt, and the distance between his naked skin and mine seems too great, too vast.
“I thought you left,” I say instead of going to him, deciding that I best have more restraint from now on. I don’t want to lose my mind prematurely. He might not have left without saying anything, but he is in the process of leaving without me.
He tosses the towel he was using to dry his hair on the bathroom floor and walks towards me.
He lays his hands on my arms but doesn’t pull me in for a kiss like I expected him to, which unbalances me since I was ready to melt into his body.
“I wouldn’t just leave,” he tells me, his eyes fixed on mine and telling me he’s speaking the truth. “But I do gotta go now.”
“Why?” I coo. “We had such a great time last night and I’m ready for more. Maybe even a trip out of this hellhole town.”
He grins, and I love the way his lips swirl up at the edges. I also love the way his eyes light up when he smiles. Maybe he’s too good for me. Maybe I don’t deserve a guy who can smile this openly.
What the fuck am I thinking?
“I wish we could,” he says.
“Why can’t we?” I ask to interrupt the But… part of that sentence, which I know is coming and which I know I won’t like.
“I’m here on a job with my MC and I’m not supposed to run around on my own,” he says. “I also fucked up bad on the night I got you away from the Sinners, so I gotta be on my best behavior.”
“You think it was a mistake coming to get me?” I’m purposefully misunderstanding what he said, and I feel bad about it, but it’s best I get to the real, hard truth of what he’s trying to tell me right now. I know he’s just letting me down easy. I know he’s trying to tell me we’ll never see each other again. Why would he want to? I already fucked him.
My question kinda stunned him for a second, but then he shakes his head, grins again, and embraces me. His hair is still dripping wet and the droplets of water hitting my burning skin practically hiss.
“No, I don’t think that was a mistake. I think it was the best thing I did all year, maybe all decade,” he says, speaking the words into my ear and making me shiver. “But it wasn’t sanctioned, and now I gotta make up for it. I’ll visit you as often as I can,” he adds. “If you choose to wait for me here.”
“What? Here at the motel?” I ask. “Just wait for you? For how long?”
Why am I being like this? Of course I’ll wait. But I know why. I think he could be lying, could just be spinning me a tale so I won’t…won’t what? I’m free to go. We made no promises to each other.
“A week, maybe less,” he says. “I hope.”
He tenses up as he says that last, and now I know why. He thinks I won’t want to wait that long. But I gotta be sure…
I lean back in his arms so I can look