amazing."
"Kendrick?" I repeated.
"Kendrick. Lamar. Oh, you sweet thing," Eva said, pressing a hand to her heart. "We will all educate you, don't worry."
"I haven't had a lot of time for music lately," I admitted.
"There is always time for music. Always. It is especially useful to humiliate your children. I mean, I don't care if I am eighty and using a walker, when Juvenile tells me to back my ass up, I am backing my ass up. I have backed my ass up walking down the street to the store when someone passed with the music blaring. Much to my son's mortification. What are you doing?" she asked as I pulled out my phone to type in it.
"Making a note to put that on for you sometime later. When we're alone," I told her, getting a saucy smile from her before she turned back to cooking.
And the whole morning was just... easy, fun, light, full of teasing and laughter.
On more than one occasion, I caught Jelly looking at Eva with what I could only describe as wonder in her eyes.
A part of me wanted to pull her aside, to tell her that things were new, that it was smart not to get too attached too soon.
But the other part of me liked seeing it too much. That part of me also acknowledged that this wasn't some fling. It wasn't something I could see myself getting sick of anytime soon.
I never wanted to say that our- mine and Jelly's—lives were missing anything. We'd always been happy. Our home had been filled with love and laughter.
That said, watching Jelena and Eva interact added something to an already complete puzzle. Jelena hung on Eva's words, basked in her praise. And, in turn, Eva clearly enjoyed talking about 'girl things' with someone, had a lot of wisdom to impart on a growing girl.
And as for Jelly and Jacob, they poked fun at each other in a way that was not mean-spirited, but reminiscent of the way my siblings and I had ribbed one another when we were young.
"They are cute," Eva decided, both of us pausing in the doorway to the kitchen with dishes in our hands, looking at the kids as they fought over what movie to watch.
"I, ah, I probably should have asked this before," I said, looking at the warm light in her eyes. "About kids. Do you, you know... did you want more?" I asked, hoping the tension wasn't in my words.
"Oh, God no. I mean, wow, that was probably a little too forceful, huh?" she asked, grimacing at me as she turned into the kitchen, putting her dishes in the sink, running hot water on them.
"Not if that is how you feel," I told her, shaking my head.
"I know I am supposed to want more. And there is like this unspoken rule about how blended couples seem to have to have one child that is, you know, both of theirs in the strictest definition of the word. But I sobbed happy tears when Jacob learned to potty train. I really don't think I could go back to diaper changing again. Or sleepless nights. Or having a teen gap between children. I never saw myself having another. Sorry."
"There's nothing to be sorry about," I told her, shaking my head. "I didn't see myself having more either. I can't imagine doing it all over again all these years older."
"I heard a mom talking about a blowout diaper in the store the other day. I swear my eggs trembled with fear," she told me, then laughed. "Sorry, that was probably a weird visual. But, yeah, the way I see it, Jacob will be off to college in a few years. And I will have some time to have some me-time for the first time in my life. And then, before too long, he will make me a grandma. And I can enjoy all the cute parts of a baby without the sleeplessness and dirty diapers."
"You're really hung up on the diaper thing, huh?" I chuckled.
"They claim you get used to it," she said, looking a little green. "I did not. And I have this tendency, when I smell something gross, to kinda, gag and baby diapers are..." she said, trailing off on a genuine gagging noise, getting another laugh out of me.
"Okay. Maybe stop thinking about that. You look like you're going to get sick," I said, smiling as I moved toward her, grabbing her hips, pulling her up against me. "You know