Philip, Duke of Edinburgh. Meghan herself appeared in a brief interview in what looked like the doorway of a school. Was she or wasn’t she pregnant again? Her red coat was too billowy to see.
“During our last conversation, my grandfather-in-law, Prince Philip, and I talked about how much we love Bonfire Night. The bonfires, the fireworks, the good cheer. Guy Fawkes was trying to blow up Parliament, but he did not succeed. What’s been made of that event, Guy Fawkes Day or Bonfire Night, is always so thrilling, with everyone outside celebrating around massive bonfires. This fall, in honor of Prince Philip, Harry and I will be hosting our first Bonfire Night party in our new home. It’s going to be magical. I’m inviting all my American friends and Harry’s inviting his Royal Air Force buddies. We’re going to party all night.” She smiled her perfect smile. “And there will definitely be fireworks.”
Wendy didn’t think Meghan sounded like a pregnant person. She wasn’t staying in and nesting; she was planning to stay up all night partying.
“Roy!” Wendy called. “Roy!”
Roy had just decided to jump ahead in time and make both girls pregnant. Meanwhile, the people on Earth were watching their every move, like they were the stars of a reality show. Like Tupper with his Macaw.
“Roy?” Wendy bustled into the library. “I’m sorry to interrupt your train of thought, but I’ve just had the most wonderful idea.”
“So have I,” Roy said. “Your program inspired me. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned that much of my new book takes place on Mars. And what could be more delightful to those of us plebs on Earth than a wedding on Mars? It would be televised, so we could watch it. I’m not sure of the science of it, the time delay and all that. I don’t think it would quite be in real time. Still, can you imagine the excitement here on Earth? The first Mars wedding! And I was thinking it could be a double wedding—well, two wives anyway—because the rules are different on Mars. Up there everyone’s sort of tribal. I haven’t thought it through.” He clutched his head in sudden agony and pounded his fist on the arm of his chair. “Oh, this is madness.”
Wendy wasn’t really listening. Roy always babbled nonsensically when he was writing. The fact that he was writing was what mattered. She should have fessed up about her demotion to Enjoy! by now, but she didn’t want to distract him when he was finally writing again. “Can I tell you my idea?”
“Sorry.” He closed his laptop and looked up at her. “Yes, what is it?”
“Bonfire Night. Guy Fawkes. We’re going to have a Bonfire Night party here in our backyard. We can invite all our new Brooklyn friends. We can even drive to Delaware or somewhere and get fireworks—I think they’re illegal in New York State.”
“Illegal is good,” Roy said. “The police will be thrilled. And what will we burn? There aren’t many trees to cut down in our garden. Shall we pull all the doors off their hinges and burn them?”
“I’ll get the burning things,” Wendy said, annoyed at his mocking tone. “The bonfire has to be massive, as big as we dare. Maybe we can ask your artist friends to make us a Guy. Harry and Meghan are doing one in LA this year, their first one ever. That’s what inspired me.”
“Naturally we must keep up with the Windsors.”
“Ours will be even better,” Wendy said haughtily. “Manfred and Gabby and I will plan the whole thing. Maybe I can somehow spin it into a story for the magazine so they can pay for it,” she added without mentioning exactly which magazine. “All you have to do is invite the locals.”
There was a loud thump upstairs and a distinctly male exclamation of surprise or pain or jubilation.
Wendy froze and stared up at the ceiling.
“Do you think they’re having sex?” she whispered.
“Sounds like they might be trying on a little Posh and Becks,” Roy responded uncomfortably. He liked Liam, but Shy was his daughter. She was meant to eat cheese toasties and go to movies with him for the rest of her life.
“I think it’s good,” Wendy said uncertainly. “I mean, he could be scary and there could be massive clouds of drug smoke coming out of her room and loud music. He could be from some other neighborhood we don’t know. He’s a nice boy from school who’s good at math and wears clean