he grinned and spun her before pulling her in close again.
“I have a surprise for you.”
It wasn’t what she’d expected him to say, not at all.
“A surprise?”
“Yes.” He smiled so wide, Hope couldn’t help it; in that moment, she forgot everything. The doctor’s appointment, the terrible diagnosis, the even worse diagnosis, and despite herself, she giggled. “Do you want to know what it is?”
“Of course.” She felt like a teenager again as the anticipation grew.
“I got us two tickets to Mexico.”
Hope froze in mid-step, coming to a stop so suddenly that Levi tripped over her and almost stumbled before catching himself. “Mexico?”
The room spun, or maybe it was the dancers enjoying themselves all around her. Either way, she had to get off that dance floor. Hope glanced around, looking for an escape, but Levi held her fast. “Mexico,” he repeated.
“But why?”
Levi had wrapped his arms around her again and had tried to start moving to the music—a slightly faster song—again, but Hope was no longer feeling it, and she stumbled over his feet until finally he stopped and held her instead. “Because we were just talking about seeing the world, Hope.” He looked at her so earnestly it brought tears to her eyes. “I told you I’d show you the world, Hope. And I meant it.”
He had said that. At the time she’d believed him, too. Had it really just been the other day laying in his arms that he’d told her that? Just the other day that the world still seemed so fair? That she had her whole life ahead of her?
Shit.
“I can’t go.” She didn’t even realize she’d said the words out loud until she saw the look on his face. “I mean, I want to…I just…”
“Of course you can.”
“No.” She shook her head. “I can’t.”
All traces of his earlier smile were gone now. “Why?” he asked with a shake of his head. “Why can’t you go? I looked at the calendar. I booked the tickets for fall—you don’t have anything scheduled. We can just block it off. We can—”
“No. It’s not that. I just…” She couldn’t tell him the real reason. She knew that in a flash just by looking at his face. She couldn’t tell him she was sick and she definitely couldn’t tell him that she’d decided without a doubt that she was going to try for a baby. There was no way she could travel. For so many reasons. But if she told him any of them, he’d…well, she didn’t know what he would do. But whatever it was, it wouldn’t be fair to him. It wouldn’t be a decision based on anything else but her illness.
It was bad enough she had to make decisions based on cancer. She wouldn’t ask it of him, too.
She couldn’t.
A flash of white chiffon rushing past her knees startled her from her thoughts, and she quickly dodged the little flower girl, who was spinning around like the fairy princess she no doubt felt like on the dance floor. When the little girl turned, Hope caught a glimpse of the smile of sheer delight on her face. A moment later, her mother grabbed her hands and started dancing with her, and Hope was completely lost.
A little girl. Would she ever have a little girl?
A child of her own?
She looked back at Levi. There had been a time when she’d dreamed of having that with him. But they’d been kids then. It was a lifetime ago and so much had changed.
He was a traveler. He didn’t want children. “Not for a while.” Those had been his exact words when they’d casually discussed it after making love. At the time, it hadn’t meant anything to Hope. Why would it? It was just casual conversation. And really, she hadn’t considered the possibility of children for a few years beyond the vague concept of one day.
Things changed.
But what if they didn’t have awhile?
Or more specifically, what if she didn’t have awhile?
In that moment, her choice was made, and Hope knew without a doubt what she had to do.
She also knew that breaking up with him would be the hardest thing she ever had to do. Definitely harder than the first time they’d broken up. Because this time, she knew better. She knew what it would mean, and she knew there would be no third chance at their love.
Hope also knew that it was exactly what she had to do.
Before she could chicken out, Hope took Levi by both hands and squeezed. “I need