and laugh and have a good time,” Jules said, pulling Michael up by his arms.
They all moved to the porch as Michael and Jules pulled on their coats to leave. They couldn’t keep their hands off each other, and every other sentence was punctuated by a kiss and a smile. As they stepped off the porch, Michael turned back toward Piper who hadn’t said more than a handful of words since they had returned. “You good?” he asked, winking at her, knowing that maybe he should stay, but he really didn’t want to.
She nodded yes and waved them off. She couldn’t fight the feelings that had followed her throughout her life, the melancholy in the face of everyone else’s joy. She didn’t know why she felt worse in this moment than she had through all the turmoil of the last few months.
As Michael’s headlights disappeared from view, darkness fell back over the front yard. Bobby had begun loading wood into the firepit and searching around for the matches.
Piper sat on the familiar porch swing and pulled a blanket over her legs. She watched Bobby building a fire to keep her warm and realized that really was who he’d be to her. Maybe she didn’t know how to keep herself cozy and balanced on the inside, but he would keep lighting her fires to make up for it.
He sat down beside her, reminding Piper of the first time they had sat there together. It was funny how wrong their perceptions of each other were then—how far from the truth. Now it was like they were sitting down together for the first time as they really were.
“I know that I might have spooked you earlier when I said I thought I love you. We haven’t known each other long, and there has been so much going on you probably think I’m crazy. That’s why I want to take it back,” Bobby said, pulling the blanket up.
Piper didn’t think she was ready to be loved, but that wasn’t at all where she thought the conversation was going. “I understand,” she said, trying to mask her shock.
“I was wrong when I said I think I love you. What I meant to say… what I should have said… is I do love you. There’s no hesitation here. I know how I feel about you. I won’t rush you or pressure you to be something you aren’t or to feel something you don’t, but I’m not foolish enough to lie to myself or to you. I didn’t want to make some big proclamation tonight, but sitting out here with you right now, I’m having a hard time not blurting out some very corny stuff.” Bobby reached over and laced his fingers with hers. “Will you sit and listen to me professing my love?”
“We’ve been through a lot, Bobby, and I’m sure emotions are running high for everyone. Part of me wants to get lost in your eyes and let you say sweet things to me all night, but a bigger part of me has no idea how to deal with all of that.” Piper felt her anxiety rising. She’d prepared herself for all kinds of heartbreak in her life, all forms of disappointment, but falling in love was not something she’d readied herself for. “I have some fundamental flaws, Bobby. Like tonight when everyone was smiling and celebrating, that’s not at all how I felt. These moments when most people are overjoyed, I’m completely out of sorts. I’m anxious and sick to my stomach, because for me these happy moments are fleeting. When I let myself indulge in the idea of something even remotely positive, reality comes flooding back in to knock me down. I’m not built to enjoy life; I’m built to endure it. I don’t understand why you would love someone like that.” Piper felt the tears as they moved down her cheeks, but she didn’t care. She wasn’t self-conscious or afraid to look weak. Bobby had seen more of her than anyone, and somehow he was still sitting here begging for the chance to love her.
“Piper there are so many things in this world to be afraid of. Don’t let happiness be one of them. You don’t understand why I would love you? I love you because you are tenacious in the face of reality. I love that you have no idea how incredible you are, because that means I get to be here when you finally figure it out. There’s a good