The casual ease of going out to dinner or watching a movie was something that came naturally to us.
I was so used to the deep void inside that it didn’t bother me overmuch. I considered myself lucky.
Then she fell in love with someone else.
How ironic that I had chosen her because she was the closest I had ever come to filling that aching place inside, yet she left me for that exact reason.
I feel all alone, she said. Even when you’re with me, you’re not with me.
I had wanted to argue about that but couldn’t. She was absolutely right. I had to let her go. And the thing was, I felt nothing. That’s when I realized… she was a friend. A female friend. But I could never love her as my mate. Judy was a wonderful friend, but not a lover. And I didn’t know what love was.
One look at this angel and I knew that for sure.
My previous decision to live without ever having a mate became far more bleak after this. I knew I couldn’t find relief in women I couldn’t bond with. I withdrew into myself, into this cabin, this wilderness. Here I couldn’t hurt anyone, and I didn’t have to show anyone the real me.
Then she came. Like she was seeking me out. She was being drawn to me even though I had given up hope of ever finding her—
Calm the fuck down, Daire!
Even commanding myself didn’t work. I was getting more worked up by the second. It was as if I could hear her every footfall, knowing she was getting closer and closer, and any minute now, I’d be able to smell her.
I should have been alone. I was content to be alone. I didn’t want to be connected like this. It couldn’t be real.
But it was.
I heard the cabin door opening. My cousin was chatting away to the kids. And where had they come from? Were they hers?
I tried to stop myself shrinking down in the chair but didn’t quite manage it. I rubbed my temples a little, taking long, slow breaths while I tried to get some control over myself.
My bear was roaring, raging. The human part of us might make decisions, the bear did not have to agree to them. I had to talk myself out of this whole thing, and my bear would just have to suck it up.
My veins seemed to glow with heat at that thought. On most topics, the bear could muscle me into agreement. This matter was not even up for negotiation.
Claim your mate.
I shook my head, clenching my fists. Fuck this. I needed no more complications. Bad enough that my cousin was surrounding me with rugrats and potentially another man. I was sure I had seen another shape moving through the dark toward us.
I was wrestling with myself when her scent suddenly became so thick, I literally couldn’t move. My senses were completely overrun. I couldn’t see. I could barely hear. My skin was alive with goosebumps, my tongue was practically lolling out of my mouth to drag that scent across it.
It filled me. There was no part of my body that intoxicating scent didn’t reach. A low growl rumbled through me and escaped around the room before I could even attempt to hold it in.
When I opened my eyes, the light was on. I looked up quickly and there she was, real and solid. Careless in her beauty, even with her tired and uncertain expression.
Claim your mate.
Fuck. How was I supposed to keep my bear—or my own lonely soul—in check now? At least before, I was committed to a solitary life and that gave me some peace. It was comforting to know that there would never be that other, and I need not give myself pain over it.
Now that she stood before me, there was no question of peace. The life of solitude which could have been comfortable if not happy would now be utter torture. Now that I knew she existed, I couldn’t walk away from her. I would condemn myself to a life as sharp and keen as the mountain wind in the depth of winter.
Now that she had been in the room a couple of seconds, I could discern the separate parts of her scent. The heat from her skin. The shampoo she last used on her hair. A faint flowery smell that was probably body lotion.
And bear scent.
My body went completely still, my nostrils working. Only seconds had passed since she