half their lives reinforcing one of the key institutions that props up the patriarchy.’
‘Jo,’ I said, too tired to get into it. Two months until the semester started and she didn’t have time. Because it wasn’t as though I had a job or anything.
‘Marriage is death,’ Jo declared, staring daggers right at me. ‘It limits both parties, traps everyone financially and emotionally and forces people to become co-dependent. Did you know male suicide rates are soaring? It’s not just women that suffer in this shitty society, men are just as at risk, they’re not allowed to—’
‘The man who runs the club was asking if we wanted a DJ or a live band,’ I interrupted loudly, right as someone opened the door to the men’s changing room and left it swinging back and forth to reveal the elderly gentleman stepping into a jockstrap. Why did this keep happening to me? ‘Do you have a preference?’
‘Remind me to bring my AirPods,’ she groaned as I spun on my heel and turned to face the corner, praying that was not a glimpse into my future. Did all balls get that saggy? ‘Do not, under any circumstances, allow them to get a band. My boyfriend is a musician and I would rather eat red meat than make him suffer through any local shit.’
Jo had AirPods? I didn’t have AirPods.
‘You don’t eat meat?’ I wondered out loud. ‘And since when do you have a boyfriend? What happened to your girlfriend?’
‘Meat is killing the planet and if you’re not plant-based, so are you,’ she replied. ‘Don’t be so close-minded, you can have a girlfriend and a boyfriend at the same time, you know. He’s obsessed with me, it’s so cute, he’s so cute, we’ll probably move in together or whatever.’
I could not wait to see her try to explain that one to our parents.
‘I’ve got to go, I’m cooking dinner for the homeless shelter by the halls,’ Jo said, checking the time on an Apple Watch. Where was she getting all this stuff? Last Christmas, Mum and Dad had sent me an old-lady dressing gown from Marks & Spencer and a spiralizer. I lived in that bloody dressing gown. The spiralizer remained in its box.
‘That’s nice,’ I replied, smiling at my little sister. ‘How did you get into that?’
‘Wilf’s mum runs it?’ she said, as though I might know who Wilf was. ‘Wilf is my boyfriend? We’re going to give a lecture on the importance of avoiding conflict diamonds while they eat. It’s a cause Wilf feels, like, really strongly about.’
I chewed on the inside of my cheek for a moment.
‘You’re going to give a group of homeless people coming to a shelter to eat a meal a lecture on the ethics of the diamond industry?’
‘They’re homeless, not stupid,’ she snapped. ‘God, Ros, you’re such a bigot.’
And then she hung up.
‘Serves me right for calling, really,’ I muttered, tucking the phone in the back pocket of my jeans.
The door to the men’s changing room opened again and the gentleman walked out, thankfully dressed in crisp tennis whites.
‘Good evening,’ he said with a polite nod. I smiled back, unable to form words.
‘Ros?’ I heard Mum shout. ‘Are you still on with Jo?’
‘Um, she didn’t answer,’ I called back before joining them. ‘I was just checking work emails, talking to myself.’
I was a terrible liar.
‘Maybe we’ll cut off her credit card,’ Dad suggested. ‘See if that gets a response.’
I said nothing. I did not have a credit card when I went to university, let alone one that my parents paid for.
‘Shall we have a look outside?’ rugby shirt proposed. ‘You can have the rose garden as well as this room, in case you want a bit of outside space.’
‘Rose garden!’ I said to Mum, giving her an encouraging nudge. She forced a smile, attempting to reinflate herself for a moment as we ventured outside.
A moment was more than long enough. The rose garden was not a rose garden. The rose garden was a square of ancient Astro turf with a battered white picket fence around the outside and half a dozen plant pots filled with plastic flowers.
‘Nice spot for the smokers,’ rugby shirt said. He nudged one of the plant pots and I realized it was brimming with cigarette butts.
‘We can make it nice,’ I said as my mother’s face fell so far, I’d have had to get down on my hands and knees to pick it up. ‘Lucy’ll help. You know she’s amazing at this kind of