inclined to think I could walk it all off until I'd walked about ten feet, and then priorities had shifted again, drastically.
Rest seemed like a very good idea. I accepted Cherise's support, staggering the rest of the way to our new cabin.
"Ouch," Cher sighed, as the door swung open on a cramped little room with two narrow beds facing each other. "Looks like we've been bumped to coach. Or maybe servants' quarters."
"Don't care." I sank down on the closest flat surface - luckily, it had a mattress - and covered my eyes with my forearm. I needed to think. How had that creature gotten on the ship? And why? Was it just biding its time, waiting to kill as many Wardens as possible?
Had it killed the nameless Djinn we'd found in the hallway?
Most importantly - were there more?
David had sensed it, though not with any accuracy. Venna had been able to nuke it, though only at a drastic cost to herself.
We just couldn't fight an army of these things, and I had the sense that these were just incidental players in Bad Bob's upcoming melodrama.
Crap.Why did this keep happening to me?
"Jo?" The mattress dented on my left side as Cherise perched on the edge. "You crying?"
"No," I lied. "Fuck." I swallowed hard. "I can't do this. We can't do this. We're sailing away into the middle of nowhere with a bunch of innocent people and we're all going to die, Cher.
I can't stop it. God, we've screwed this up."
"Hey." She moved my arm away from my eyes and looked down at me with such gravity that she didn't look like Cherise at all. "What's going on?"
"Did you hear me? We just about got our asses kicked!"
"But you didn't," she said. "You told me before we got on this ship that it was going to be hard, and people were going to die, because you can't go to war if you don't expect casualties. You didn't want me to come with, remember. You wussing out on me now, Rambette?"
I sniffled. "No."
"Good, don't even. You're a Warden. You don't let anything stand in the way of what you think is right. You have the most lustworthy guy I've ever seen madly in love with you. You have fabulous hair. You're strong and beautiful and smart and evil pees itself when it sees you coming. So don't you fold up on me, Jo." Cherise's mask slipped, just a little. "Because if you do, I don't think I can keep it together on my own."
"Bullshit," I said. "You're way tougher than me." I hugged her. "I'm just so tired. I just want to rest."
"Then rest," she said, and let go. I settled back on the bed. "But don't you dare think you're not up to this. You're a hero, babe. Heroes don't wuss."
"Do they whine?"
"Only to their bosom sidekicks." She flashed me her bosom to prove she had the cred.
Cherise, motivational speaker to the stars.
I managed a weak laugh. I didn't feel like a hero, not at all. I didn't think Venna did, either, and I knew David didn't. He was too worried for me, and his anxiety was feeding mine, like a deadly and accelerating loop.
I took some deep breaths. Then I took some more, and let myself drift away from the pain and fear. I imagined myself floating in water, in a sparkling blue pool, with calm clouds whispering by overhead. The sun was warm and soft and kind, and I had on the perfect blue bikini that David liked so much.
The Grand Paradise 's rocking motion lulled me into a mindless calm, and as I hung there, suspended, I felt my body reaching for relief. It healed itself, bit by bit, cell by cell, using power drawn from the energy around me. The temperature of the cabin lowered in response, and I heard Cherise get up and check the thermostat, then break out the blankets. One settled over me, thick and soft.
"You okay?" Cherise whispered. I didn't open my eyes.
"Yep," I murmured. "Check it: Heroes don't wuss."
I was hoping that Venna had been wrong about her damage. I mean, shock, right? But no.
Venna had been not just injured but diminished by the battle in Clark's cabin.
When David told me that, sitting on the edge of my narrow bed in much the same way Cherise had earlier, I could tell that he was trying not to give away how much it disturbed him. He had on his just-the-facts-ma'am face, and he'd damped