gone.
“Where’d the blonde go?” I ask.
“I put her in a cab when I saw you talking to that douche at the bar,” he says tersely as he buckles me in.
Surprise slowly filters through me. His words echo in my head again. She’s mine, she’s mine, she’s mine.
“Why?” I ask.
“I wasn’t interested,” he answers before shutting the door with a snap.
My head lolls over on the seat so that I can watch him as he walks around the car and then slips into the driver’s side.
As he pulls the car out onto the road, I watch as the lights from the other cars illuminate his brooding demeanor, making the hard planes of his face seem even sharper. He’s so achingly beautiful.
“Thank you for saving me,” I whisper, the words seeping through the space between us.
He looks over at me, the furious glare still very much present in his eyes. “That was a completely stupid thing to do, Trix,” he admonishes me. He’s gripping the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles are white with strain. “If I hadn’t been there…” he trails off, the muscle in his jaw jumping as he clenches his teeth.
I don’t want him to be angry with me. I don’t want him to have that wild fear in his gaze anymore. I put that there, and I want to take it away.
I reach over and gently let my fingertips graze the dark line of his jaw. “I’m okay,” I tell him gently. “I’m okay because of you.”
I watch as his eyes squeeze shut for a moment, pain evident in the creases. A sigh escapes him, the exhale filled with shaky relief, and then his posture finally relaxes.
This. This right here is the Warren beneath the mask. This is the Warren I love.
Dammit.
I love him.
I realize that fact with stark, stunning clarity, despite the fuzziness of everything else. I think I’ve loved him since the day I first saw him, stuck behind the unhappiness of his own mask. There was something about him that always drew me in like a moth to a mesmerizing flame.
Just as I realize the truth of my feelings, I also realize the truth of my reality.
I’m leaving.
This world, it doesn’t belong to me. I’m simply passing through, lucky enough to have this short reprieve with the living.
But I’m not meant to have love. I’m meant to give it.
And that...that’s the most heartbreaking truth of my entire existence. That’s the danger I never considered. I was so wrapped up in fixing my own cupidity and in matching other people’s hearts, that I didn’t acknowledge I had a heart of my own.
Suddenly filled with sadness, I scoot over and gently rest my head on his shoulder, because even though he’s right here next to me, I miss him. I haven’t felt the imminence of my ticking clock as much as I feel it right now.
He goes rigid for a moment as I rest against him, until he relaxes with a sigh, my name passing through his lips like a prayer.
I breathe in this moment, because I know it’s fleeting, and I know I don’t have much longer.
“You’re a good man, Warren Knight,” I tell him.
He shakes his head at me, but then he lifts his arm and settles it behind my back so he can pull me in closer, and I relish in the touch. Unlike with Sparrow, this feels right. It feels perfect.
A contented sigh spills out of me as I let my eyes flutter closed. “I wish I could stay here,” I hear myself saying quietly. “I wish I could stay with you. But I can’t.”
All-encompassing sadness seeps into me just as exhaustion decides to pull me under. Right before I drop off to sleep, I swear I feel his lips on my hair at the same time that a tear falls from my eye.
Chapter 20
Trix
I have a major sense of déjà vu when I wake up once again in Warren Knight’s bed.
But this time, instead of him getting mad and bailing, he comes in and places some clothes on the bed right alongside a tray of breakfast.
I sit up, grateful that I feel like myself again. My hair smells like smoke, and I have a headache from all the alcohol I consumed, but other than that, I feel good. At least my brain stopped tingling.
“Go ahead and eat, and there’s some aspirin for your head if you need it,” Warren tells me. “You’re welcome to shower and get ready. We need to