A California Christmas (Silver Springs #7) - Brenda Novak Page 0,108
myself.”
“Emery—”
“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “I’m not trying to put you on the spot. I just... I needed to tell you how I feel. It’s—I don’t know—satisfying to let it out, to quit trying to kill it or hide from it or deny it. There’s no shame in loving someone, even if they don’t love you back.”
He stopped moving. “Are you sure? We haven’t known each other for very long.”
“We’ve known each other since we were kids,” she corrected, and insisted he start moving again.
“I should’ve said we haven’t spent a lot of time together.”
“I can’t explain how or why it happened, especially so fast, but it is what it is, and I can’t change it. It’s terrible timing when I’m dealing with so many other things, so I’m not any happier about it than you are.”
“I care about you. I really do. I—”
“Don’t,” she broke in again. “I don’t want platitudes. While I appreciate that you’re trying to be nice, what you feel is so much less than what I want you to feel that it can’t be any solace, if that makes sense.”
He opened his mouth and closed it again before he finally said, “Any guy would be lucky to have you.”
“I know,” she said with a teasing grin. “But it might take a while to get over you.”
“Emery—”
“It’s fine,” she insisted. “It won’t even be awkward anymore. I’m going to go spend Christmas with my mother. She and my grandmother need me, and I should be there for them.”
He stopped dancing again. “When did you decide that?”
She was slightly gratified that he didn’t seem pleased by the news. “During the ceremony. The wedding made me realize that what I’m going through isn’t the end of the world. My mother has lost the love of her life after sharing thirty-one years with him. My grandmother can’t even remember my name. What both of them are going through is worse. I’m young and resilient. I’ll find my way through what Ethan has done.” She’d been hesitant to spend money she would need later, but she’d figure that out somehow. How could she not go and support them?
“But Christmas is only a week away.”
“Meaning...”
“You must be leaving soon.”
“You’ve stopped dancing again, and people are staring at us as it is.”
Once more, he started to sway to the music. “So when are you leaving?”
“I’m thinking Monday.”
“That’s only the day after tomorrow,” he complained. “That leaves us with almost no time.”
“Right. This dance is about all I have left of you, so you’d better shut up and let me enjoy it,” she joked. Then she closed her eyes and rested her cheek against his chest.
* * *
It was hard for Dallas not to go after Emery when she left the reception. She reminded him of Aiyana, who always offered her love without expecting anything in return. That was what made it so therapeutic, so potent and liberating.
Was he making a mistake letting her go?
“What’s wrong?”
Hearing his mother’s voice, he turned to find her at his elbow. “Nothing.”
“I saw you dancing with Emery,” she said. “The whole room was abuzz with it.”
“This town loves gossip.”
“Any small town loves gossip. Did she leave?”
“Yeah.”
“Why? Is she okay?”
“Seems to be. She was tired of being on her feet and needed to lie down.”
“I’m surprised she lasted as long as she did, poor girl.”
He scowled at the doorway through which he’d seen Emery go. “She’ll only be in Silver Springs another day.”
“Where’s she going? Back to LA?”
“No. To spend Christmas with her mother and grandmother.”
Aiyana nodded. “That’s good. I bet her mother will be very glad to see her.”
He glanced around to make sure he could speak without being overheard. The room was crowded, but with the music playing and the roar of voices talking over it, he knew he was safe. “She told me she loves me,” he said.
Aiyana, who’d just taken a drink, started to cough.
“Are you okay?”
Her eyes were watering by the time she was able to say, “Sorry, that went down the wrong pipe.”
“I surprised you.”
“That you would tell me surprised me. I already knew she felt something for you. You can see it in her face whenever she looks at you.”
“So what do I do?”
“That depends...”
“On...”
“Whether you love her back.”
“What if I don’t know?” He knew a lot of things—that he enjoyed being with her. That he’d never been so turned on by someone sexually. That she was a wonderful person. But he’d always considered himself incapable of the kind of