A California Christmas (Silver Springs #7) - Brenda Novak Page 0,107
regret having slept with him.
Instead of overriding her natural inclination to single him out, as she’d been doing since she’d last left his bed, she allowed herself to meet and hold his gaze as she remembered what it was like to touch him, to taste him.
What she was feeling must’ve shown on her face because his eyebrows came together, and his gaze drilled into hers as if he was trying to read her mind. But then the priest instructed Cal to kiss his bride and the moment was lost as the wedding ceremony came to an end.
While those in the wedding party gathered for pictures, everyone else settled in to celebrate. The reception immediately followed, but Emery told herself she wouldn’t stay for much of it. Aiyana would understand if she didn’t make it through the whole thing. Before she’d left home, Emery had taken some ibuprofen to help with the soreness of her neck and head, but it was beginning to wear off.
After spending twenty minutes chatting with Susan and some of Susan’s friends who were sitting at their table, she stood and was just reaching for her purse, so that she could go, when Dallas intercepted her.
“Would you like to dance?” he asked.
The quartet providing the music was playing “Make You Feel My Love,” and several couples were already on the dance floor.
Emery knew she could use the excuse of what’d happened last night to decline—that she wasn’t capable of being on her feet—but when she hesitated, he held out his hand and said beseechingly, “Dance with me.”
* * *
Being in Dallas’s arms proved to be as intoxicating as Emery knew it would be. She never felt more alive than when she was close to him, and it had been that way since he’d first walked into his mother’s kitchen and taken her by surprise. She was afraid everyone in the room could guess how she felt about him.
But so what? She and Dallas were going their separate ways soon. She might as well let herself enjoy this moment. He was what this Christmas had brought her, and even though what they’d had couldn’t last, she’d always remember him fondly.
“Seeing you walk in today took my breath away,” he murmured in her ear as she settled against him. “That’s how beautiful you are.”
The warmth of his hand at her back seemed to travel through her clothes and skin, seep into her bones and begin to circulate through her bloodstream. “I’m glad I came,” she said. “It’s been good for me to get out and to think of someone else, for a change.”
She assumed they’d keep everything polite and superficial and leave it at that, so she was surprised when he grew serious. “I’m sorry for how things ended between us, Emery,” he said. “But you deserve more than I can offer. You know that, right? I’m just not capable of being like Cal and so many other guys who can settle down and be steady and content. I wouldn’t be able to make you happy even if I tried.”
“Because you’d always be wanting to leave.”
“Probably,” he admitted.
“I understand. You love to climb, you’re great at it and you have been given a fabulous opportunity. I would never want to stand in the way of you achieving your goals.” She was trying to let him go gracefully. She didn’t want him acting out of guilt or obligation, for God’s sake.
But instead of relieving him, as she’d intended, what she’d said seemed only to make him more agitated. “I wish things were different,” he said with a troubled scowl.
Letting her hands slip up to catch his face, she tilted it so that he had to look at her. “Since I’m in love with you, so do I.”
What she’d said surprised her as much as it did him. Those words had come out spontaneously, but they’d also come from her heart, and that felt good. Honest. Regardless of anything else, they were, at least, true.
“What did you say?”
She dropped her hands and looked away, but she couldn’t take the words back. Somehow, she didn’t even want to. “You heard me.”
“But...you can’t mean it.”
She could see several people around the room watching them, but she merely smiled. “I do. But don’t let it freak you out. You can only feel what you feel. You can’t make yourself love someone in return. I understand that.”
“If you love me—why the hell have you frozen me out?”