it was for a while.
I loved her… but there was something I needed, and it was something she was unwilling to give. So, I sought it out elsewhere.
I’m a bastard. I know that, I’ve accepted that.
I can’t fight the demon inside of me. No amount of physical pain will ever quell the desire in my heart. After all, my wife’s pain didn’t stop me. So, I seek out my other release hoping that one day it will be enough.
I get up on unsteady legs, my cock painfully hard, and pull off my trousers. The silky material pools to the floor. Stepping out of them, my cock falls free, seemingly the only part of my body not covered in purple bruises.
“One word, that’s all I need,” I say, stalking towards the nameless woman on the other side of the room.
I watch as her cheeks flush. The pink of her tongue wets her bottom lip in anticipation. But I never kiss these women. That’s too personal. There’s too much emotion in a kiss.
I fuck them. I dominate them. I take everything they’re able to give, and they all give it willingly.
Stopping before her, I slide my finger along the curve of her breast.
“Say it,” I murmur.
A smile plays across the lips of this woman whose name I do not know. Even though she’s been here before, I don’t know anything about her life. But I do know every curve of her body, every moan and sigh. I know where she likes to be touched, licked, caressed. I know her limits, I know what makes her pussy twitch with pleasure. I know what scares her but thrills her at the same time. This nameless woman who comes alive beneath my hands is mine to play with.
I’m going to fuck her until I get the release I so crave, those few seconds where nothing but the potency of my orgasm fills every thought. Where neither my past nor my future is clear and only the present takes control. Where I find peace.
“Say it,” I demand, grasping her chin and making her look at me. Heavy-lidded, deep blue eyes gaze back. There is fear in them, but excitement too. I can smell it.
Her mouth parts, she pulls against the constraints. A single word falls from her lips…
“Brisé…”
Chapter One
Rose
Placing my hand against my pounding head, I groan loudly. The bottle of red wine I drank by myself last night probably wasn’t the best idea I’ve ever had.
“Way to go, Rose, just what you need on the morning of your interview,” I say to myself.
The digital clock next to my bed is flashing eight forty-five am. I have less than an hour to get ready and up to Browlace Manor, and given my car died its final death last week, I’m going to have to walk. That’s a good mile on an unseasonably cold September morning. Thanks goodness it’s Saturday tomorrow. I can sleep in without feeling guilty.
Ripping back my duvet cover I stumble from my bed, instantly regretting moving so quickly as a sharp spasm almost cripples me. I bite down on my lip, trying to override the arthritic pain in my hips and lower back with the sharp cut of my teeth. It doesn’t work.
I stretch my hand out, resting it on the chest-of-drawers next to me and fight the overwhelming need to throw up. Being hungover and in pain isn’t the best combination frankly.
Drawing in deep breaths I slowly straighten my back, ignoring the agony I feel and hating that my body has betrayed me yet again. Most days I feel as though I am ninety years old, not a woman of thirty.
Fuck this body of mine.
My eyes catch the pair of satin ballet shoes hanging from a hook on the back of my bedroom door, a constant reminder of my past. They are well worn, the platform dirty, the ribbons frayed. It has been over a year since I wore them last. A lifetime in the ballet world.
Even if I were fit, it’s highly unlikely the company would take me back. Most ballet dancers retire in their mid-thirties having started their career around nineteen.
The cruel reality is, I’ll never be able to dance again, professionally or otherwise.
Sighing, I haul myself upright with as much grace as an ex-ballet dancer with arthritis can muster. I refuse to call myself disabled, even though that’s what my doctor had implied. He’d been so matter of fact about my condition. There was no breaking it to me