other hand. “Are you okay with this? I can figure something else out if you’re not.”
I shake my head. I’m not going to be that scared girl anymore. I’m the new and strong Odie, the one who can take on anything and survive. Besides, I have my gun holstered to my leg now. No panicked scrambling to find it if someone makes it past Roxas.
I’m sure no one will get past him.
He's built smaller than Illi is but he's still much bigger than I am. There's weapons strapped to every inch of his body and the easy way he carries himself speaks of confidence and self-assuredness. He knows how to make it out of a fight.
He made it through Lord Devareux’s manor after all.
Illi gives me one last kiss and heads out, the roar of his Mustang loud as he leaves me behind with one of his most trusted friends.
I try not to think about the betrayal of his oldest friend, not that I blame him for that, not at all, but it pops into my mind nonetheless.
I finish up making the crepes while Roxas pokes around the apartment. It doesn't worry me at all but the interest he's taking in everything seems... a little strange.
"Would you like to eat with me? I made more than enough."
He turns back towards me with a grin from ear-to-ear. "I never say no to food. Thanks for cooking, I usually just eat bar food."
I have no idea what sort of food would be served at bars but with his physique it must not be that terrible.
He carries the heavier plates to the table for me and I grab all of the trimmings for the crepes. I prefer mine with Nutella and fresh strawberries and Roxas watches me assemble mine before starting on his.
"Fuck, these are pretty damn good. I was expecting them to be like thin pancakes."
I try not to let the horror show on my face.
Heathens.
He sees it anyway and laughs, shoving half a crepe in his mouth in one go. He makes his way through eight of them before finally being full. He's far more friendly than I thought a biker friend of mon Monstre's would be, taking an interest in my life before I came to the States and how my life looks now. None of it is inappropriate, he never leers at me or makes comments about my looks, but I still feel most comfortable with him on the other side of the table.
I may never trust men enough to be completely comfortable around them and that's okay with me. Mon Monstre is enough for me.
"This place is cleaner than I expected. Guess that's the woman's touch."
I startle out of my daydream and glance over to him. "I haven't changed anything. Only the painting over the fireplace is mine, and the art things over by the window."
His eyebrows shoot up and he looks around again. "Well, I'll be fucking damned. Who'd have thought the Butcher was into sleek kitchens and marble floors."
I tilt my head at him, propping my chin on a fist as I take him in. "You haven't been up here before? I thought you were friends."
He laughs and leans back in his chair, crossing his ankles. "I've been in the garage and his workroom, but I've never been up here. Well. Only the other night and I was too fucking pissed off to notice a damn thing. I just never pegged him for a guy who gave a shit."
I did.
I know what it's like not to have nice things, to live in places that aren't really fit for human inhabitants and I know his time in the group home would be the reason this place now looks so beautiful. He might be the Butcher on the streets, covered in weapons and blood, but here he's just Johnny Illium. Mon Monstre.
The man I love.
The apartment is quiet.
That’s nothing unusual, during the night while mon Monstre is working is always quiet, but knowing that he is out of town for work and I’m here with one of his friends… it makes it a little more alarming. Roxas spends hours downstairs in the garage working on his bike, leaving me to my day of working on my paintings. I can't get my head into it at all and finally I realize that I can't get into the right flow with him here. I might be safe but this is not my usual safe space.
So I go and shower to