that, drawing himself up taller.
“You don’t have to sound so offended. It doesn’t have to be a bad thing.” He liked knowing Linc. Liked knowing that there were stories that maybe only he had heard, sides of him that few others got to see. But now instead of special, it simply made him more frustrated. “That’s all on you.”
“Yeah, it is.” Linc groaned then, scrubbing at his head. “Fuck, I hate this.”
“Me too, but again—”
“It’s on me. I know. Trust me, I know. And I’m sorry. So fucking sorry. This isn’t how I wanted things to go at all. You hurt is the last thing I wanted.”
Am I not enough? The question roared in his head again. Want. How silly. If Linc wanted, none of this would have been an issue.
“Pretty words, Linc. I almost believe you.”
“What do you want from me?” Linc wrenched off his shirt, tats rippling. He shoved his clean clothes in the locker, but didn’t pull out his gear.
“I told you already. Everything.” On that, Jacob wasn’t going to budge. He was done settling for scraps and almosts. Almost a date. Almost a couple. Almost love. Forget it. Forget all of it.
“I’m sorry.” This time Linc whispered it, more anguish behind the words, but all it did was enrage Jacob. This was all so fucking needless.
“If you’re going to be sorry, mean it, damn it. Put some action behind it. Show me. Otherwise it’s as pointless as—”
“Sims says be ready for—Whoa. How are you guys still not ready?” Garrick burst back into the room.
“Sorry. Give me five.” Sighing, Linc started pulling on gear.
Effectively dismissed, Linc’s answer plain as a Vegas billboard, Jacob did the same and somehow they were ready at the hangar in time to finish gearing up and to check their cargo.
Garrick did his cross-check instead of Linc, hands impersonal as he checked Jacob’s parachute rigging. Once on the airstrip, waiting for the plane, Linc shifted his weight from foot to foot, standing apart from the rest of them, looking like he was one stiff breeze away from rattling apart. Or possibly puking.
Damn it. Jacob hated himself for caring and hated the situation for making them so reliant on each other right when space was what they probably needed. Distance. Perspective. Anything other than this helpless caring. Finally, he couldn’t stand it anymore. Pacing over to Linc, he stared him down.
“What the fuck is your problem?”
“Nothing. Just...you sure your connection points are good? That one buckle...”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Because of course that was it. Of course Linc cared, even though he didn’t want to. Of course it was concern over Jacob making him so agitated. Damn it. This would all be so much easier if Linc didn’t care so deeply. Defeated, Jacob stretched his arms out. “Go ahead. Check me over. Better safe than...”
“Sorry.” They both whispered the word in unison, and something passed between them as Linc did his cross-check. Not forgiveness precisely, but an understanding maybe. A shared regret. Despite everything, they still had that shared grief, always would, Wyatt tying them together even as his memory continued to shove them apart.
“Plane’s coming in,” Garrick shouted. Finishing his check, Linc moved away, emotion etched on his face.
“Fire’s kicking up. Fucking wind,” Ray said as they regrouped together. His shrewd gaze said he hadn’t missed the tension between them. “Gonna be a tricky one. Need our heads about us. All of us.”
Jacob nodded even as he tried to ignore the gnawing in his stomach. He hadn’t prayed in years, but right then, all he wanted was to survive the shift, nothing else to go wrong.
Chapter Nineteen
The plane headed into the smoky sky, a familiar route which should have calmed Linc down, but somehow today the smoke seemed that much more ominous. The combination of unseasonably warm and dry and windy made the fire hard to predict and far more dangerous for all involved. Their assignment would involve some digging of hand line, and for all he was mixed up, he was glad Jacob was on their crew as he’d already proven himself capable