porn site.
I nearly say, forget it, he can treat me any way he wants to. As long as I get to look at this man, right here, on occasion, I’d die a happy woman.
But I have to remain strong, keep some semblance of control, and I will after I take him in for just a minute or two more.
Finally, I start down the stairs, take in a deep breath, and begin delivering the well-planned speech. “I’d like to talk about last night.”
Still with his back to me, he asks, “Would you like to do that over coffee, tea, or cocoa?”
“I’m fine.” Lie. I want that bacon and a hot coffee—badly. “But I really want to—”
“I’d really like to count this as a breakfast date, so by the time we get back here later this afternoon. We’ll have three dates out of the way.”
He turns around, and I nearly come at the sight of Raff, in gray sweats, abs on display, brown eyes bright, and his hair a complete wavy, tousled mess.
Get it together I remind myself.
“What are you having?” My voice comes out small. Too small.
“Tea.” He winks.
My eyes land on a carafe of coffee. “I’ll have a cup of coffee if that’s okay.”
“Cream and sugar?”
If by sugar, you mean a taste of those lips, yes, yes please, and I’d like seconds, thirds, oh hell, an infinite amount.
Get it together, I remind myself.
“Sure. Final answer.”
“Perfect. Have a seat.”
“Look,” I clear my throat as I place my hands on my hips, “I really need to get this off my chest before I lose my nerve.”
He pulls the pan off the flame, grabs the carafe, and turns around.
“I’m all ears.” He smiles as he steps forward and pours me a cup of coffee.
I sit down at one of the stools on the other side of the long cement island that obviously doubles as a table, making sure my back is straight. I want to look strong and in control. Fake it ‘til you make it, and all that. Meanwhile, watching him lean down, resting his elbows on the surface and smiling at me before he takes a sip from his mug, my insides crumble.
“In case you didn't notice, you have my full and undivided attention, Nikki.” He licks his lips before taking another sip.
I nod once and begin. “You having money is something I have to,” I clear my throat, “learn how to swallow.” As soon as the phrase leaves my lips, I feel my face flush. I know if I look at him, I’ll burst out laughing. I force myself to continue. “Last night, you offered me a place to live and a job then got extremely possessive. The truth is, it reminded me of Townes.”
“Fucking wanker.” He looks up, his nostrils flaring. I ignore him and continue.
“After last night, I think I’d like to THINK about renting the loft next door.” I pause when his eyes literally light up. “I have an interview on Monday in Vail. I really want to be able to stand on my own two feet, it’s very important to me, and I need to remind myself I am more than capable of doing so.”
“Most of what you just said I understand and will agree to.”
“Raff, this isn't up for debate. This is what I need. I will consider your offer, but in the meantime, I need to do things on my own terms.”
“I’m not possessive. I’m protective. That won't change. The drive to Vail in the winter months can be brutal, and I have the flexibility to drive you if—”
“I have a Jeep. It’s good in the snow.”
“Do you know how Hope died?”
My chest tightens, and I am seconds away from caving, but I can't. I won't because I need to remain strong. “I don’t want to sound uncaring because I’m not. But you have to understand. I’m not Hope. Just like I have to understand that you’re not Townes. I can’t live in fear, Raff.”
When he doesn't reply, I feel horrible. Damn it.
“Let’s compromise. If the roads are bad, I’ll get a room and stay at the hotel where I’m applying, and that’s assuming I even get the job.” I swallow hard, stopping myself from telling him the rest—that this job would only be until I saved up enough to get back to New York.
“What hotel are you applying to?” He walks around the island and pulls out a chair, and sits down nonchalantly.
“It’s a chain of resorts called Hawthorne Hotels and Resorts. Like