“You look so much like Max when she was little too. I bet if you put on glasses, you’d be her twin. And she’s beautiful, isn’t she?”
Digging her way out of feeling bad, Desi nods again.
“But you’re more than beautiful on the outside. You’re also so sweet. Everyone thinks so. From the babies all the way to big old Goliath. Do you remember how you made him laugh when he was grumpy? That’s because you have a kind heart. You make everything better with your smile.”
“The kids at the school say I’m annoying.”
“Because they’re mean. That’s not about you. It’s about them.”
“Like Daddy?”
“Yeah.”
“But Sidonie had bluer eyes,” she says, feeling bad again. “They’re prettier than mine.”
“Don’t think like that. When I was little, people were always saying I was beautiful, and they never said that about Max. But she was beautiful too. Just like with you and Sidonie. You’re both beautiful. Not one or the other. Both of you. Just like how Sidonie and Summer are both beautiful. Or how you and Carina are both beautiful. It’s not a competition. Your daddy let his jealousy make him mean, but he’s wrong. You are a beautiful person on the inside and out. You make people smile all the time.”
“Daddy said you love Carina more.”
Frowning, I start to wonder about everything Kenny’s been telling Desi during their visits. I knew he was petty, and we’ve been living a better life without him for a year and a half now. Has he spent his visits, filling Desi’s head with ugly shit?
“When did he say that?”
“I don’t know,” Desi lies, still protecting her father.
“Well, your daddy can be dumb about stuff. Like, he’s never had two kids. Or any brothers or sisters. He doesn’t know how certain things work. My mom loves both me and Max. Just like I love both you and Carina. It’s not a competition. Your daddy doesn’t get that. But you understand, Desi. You love both your daddy and me. He never had a dad growing up. He just had his mom. He probably thinks people can only love one parent, but that’s dumb too.”
“Is it okay if I love Daddy?”
“Of course.”
“Is it okay if I don’t want to live with Daddy?”
“Yes. You can’t live with him anyway. I need you to be with me.”
Desi gives me a little smile. “I help you.”
“Your smiles make me smile.”
Grinning bigger, she exhales and calms down. “I love all the dogs the same. Zathura is my dog the most, but I also love Hansel and Gretel. I want to love Uno too.”
“Because you have a big heart and know it’s not a competition.”
Desi looks up and notices a teary-eyed Sidonie standing at the second laundry room doorway, which connects to the master.
“Are you okay?” she asks Desi. “You were crying.”
“I got my feelings hurt.”
“From me?”
“No. My daddy.”
Sidonie wants to come closer. She’s agitated and on the verge of losing control. I gesture for her to sit with us. She immediately plops down and hugs Desi.
“I was worried.”
“I’m okay. I never get sad.”
“Feeling sad is okay,” I tell the hugging girls. “Feelings aren’t bad. Just ask for help when your feelings feel too heavy.”
Sidonie studies Desi’s smiling face. Finding her friend okay, she relaxes. “I thought I made you sad.”
“You didn’t do anything.”
“I know, but people think I’m obnoxious.”
“People are stupid,” I say, and the girls smile at me. “The ones that love you are the only ones that matter.”
“That’s what Daddy says,” Sidonie tells me and wipes a lingering tear from Desi’s cheek.
Desi looks a little sad over how her own father doesn’t say nice things. Then I think she remembers how Sidonie doesn’t have a mom. Everyone struggles.
“Do you want to go back to dinner?” I ask Desi as her small hand rests in mine.
Nodding, she stands up and takes Sidonie’s hand. The three of us walk back to the table, where Bronco glares at his food, and Summer stares at hers.
“What happened?” he asks, so on edge that I’m a little intimidated to look at him.
“Desi was sad, but now she’s not,” Sidonie says, leaning forward to see her friend on the other side of me.
“Sad about what?”
“I’ll talk to you about it later,” I whisper and beg him to change the subject.
Bronco puts on his own mask, but I know he won’t relax until he knows what happened. Desi is his responsibility now. If someone—even him—messes with her heart, he needs to make