I remain for the next hour, even once we’re out of the bedroom. He craves me close, and I could glue myself to him all day if given a chance.
Back in the family room, we find Summer walking around, bouncing Carina. She looks so relieved when she sees us. Bronco rewards Summer for her babysitting duties by letting her pick tonight’s dinner. She chooses Mexican, and everyone puts in their order.
“I should probably cook a few nights a week to help out,” I tell Bronco while he charms his youngest daughter. She goes from cranky to chill after his football move gets a burp out of her.
“Cook if you want, but I’m used to ordering out almost every night. The only time I don’t is when we go out to eat,” he says, smiling at the second burp he coaxes from Carina. “I don’t care what other people do in their families. I just want comfort.”
I think of Bronco growing up poor and abused. His need to spoil his girls and live well makes sense. I certainly relished every day in the fancy Victorian and now in this beautiful house. I remember living in tiny apartments growing up and the trailer park with Kenny. Why shouldn’t I enjoy the luxuries offered to me now?
“Aunt Max makes Mexican all the time,” Desi tells Bronco as we sit at the long, black dining room table a while later.
Carina is down for a nap while the five of us enjoy dinner. Bronco sits at one end while Summer struggles to put down her phone at the other. I sit on a long side with Desi and Sidonie next to me.
Earlier I asked Summer if she wanted me to braid her hair like I had for Desi and Sidonie. She only shook her head. I don’t know how to engage with a teenager. That’s something I’ll have to figure out if I want us to be a real family.
“Do you like my braids, Daddy?” Sidonie asks, stroking her hair.
“You look beautiful,” Bronco says without hesitation.
Sidonie looks to Desi on the other side of me and then frowns. I glance at my daughter and find her chin resting against her chest. Then I hear her begin crying. Startled by her emotion, I freeze. Bronco is the one to ask if Desi’s okay. She just cries harder.
I finally wake from my stunned silence and wrap my arms around Desi. “Let’s go somewhere and talk privately, okay?”
Desi doesn’t fight me when I lift her from the chair and guide her away from the table. Whimpering, she hides her face in her hands as we stand in the laundry room after I shut the door. Kneeling down, I take her hands.
“What’s wrong, baby?”
She looks at me and wears a heartbroken pout. “My daddy doesn’t think I’m pretty.”
“What? Why would you think that?”
Desi looks around and then sighs deeply. “I showed him pictures of Sidonie, and he said she was prettier than me, and that I better be careful. She was going to be everyone’s favorite.”
Fighting tears, she closes her eyes as I hold her. “In those pictures, did he see how nice Bronco’s house is?”
“Uh-huh,” she says, wiping her cheeks now. “I told him that they lived in a big house, and I showed him pictures of the playroom. Then he saw Sidonie and said I wasn’t pretty.”
I’ve hated Kenny for years, but I wouldn’t let myself accept why. Then I had my heart attack, and he made clear how he only cared about the money I made as a stripper. That’s when I finally accepted that my husband was a bad person. Not shady or complicated. Just a purely selfish fucker who would sell out his family to pay a debt or invest in a get-rich scheme.
For the last year and a half, I’ve pretended not to hate him for Desi’s sake. Right now, though, I want to send someone to kill him. My friends have that power. They could end Kenny, and I’d never see him again. I haven’t done it for Desi’s sake.
“Let’s sit down,” I say and rest my back against the washing machine.
Desi joins me, wearing an ashamed expression on her beautiful little face.
“Your daddy gets jealous, Desi. He always wants what other people have. When he saw Bronco’s house, he felt bad. When he feels bad, he wants other people to feel bad too.”
“But I’m not pretty.”
“Desi, you are so beautiful. Everyone says that. You look like my family. Grandma Lineke is