Benedict.”
“And now that you do, what shall we do with our stolen time in the dark?” A teasing lilt had crept into his speech, but there was also a dark edge to his words, as if he were angry with her. But what right did he have to be angry? He was the one who had disappeared for days.
“I suggest we look for my book.”
With a graceful, fluid motion, Benedict straightened and rose from the settee. “Of course. Because what else do husbands and wives do in the dark?”
Irena ignored the jab.
Benedict slid the library ladder along the railing that circled the room until he stopped at a section that looked like the sort where someone might hide books no one wanted. Which usually meant they were the kind Irena most wanted to read. He climbed the ladder several rungs and turned with one hand outstretched.
“Candle?”
Irena handed it to him and waited patiently as he cocked his head to read the spines. After a moment, he plucked a book from the shelf. He handed back the candle and then descended the ladder. Turning, he pressed a thin book into her. “Will this do?”
She blinked in surprise at the title. “Engineering in Ancient Rome. I suppose this is exactly what I am looking for.”
“Excellent. Then I shall light us a fire, and you can read to me until I fall into a deep slumber and forget the past ten days.”
Her spine stiffened. “Forget the past ten days?” she snapped. “You disappear without a word after commanding me to stay, and you think I’m going to just read you to sleep?”
Benedict dragged his hands down his weary face. “Irena, please.”
“It’s late, my lord. You are clearly exhausted. Perhaps we should return to our rooms.”
Benedict reached out and grasped her elbow. “I have no desire to spend another night alone in my empty chambers, Irena. Not tonight. Please. I just need to hear your voice for a while.”
His quiet pleading broke her resolve. “What happened at Ebberfield, Benedict? How is Rosendale?”
Benedict swallowed deeply but said nothing.
Irena removed herself from his grip. “My lord, you have asked me repeatedly to trust you. Yet time and again you refuse to trust me. Until you do, there can be no starting over with us.”
Clutching the book to her chest, Irena turned toward the door. She made it fewer than ten steps before he spoke again.
“He’s gone. He held on for days, but his injuries were too severe. There was nothing to be done.”
Irena turned around. In the low light of the candle, Benedict’s features chased a shadow that had nothing to do with the flickering flame.
“Oh, Benedict. I’m sorry.” Irena walked back to where he stood. “You were close to him?”
“I’ve known him all my life.”
She silently begged him to say more, and for a disappointing moment, she thought he wouldn’t. But the moment passed. “He raised me,” he said.
“What do you mean?”
Benedict strode to the fireplace and fixed his eyes upon the flames. “He was more a father to me than my real father.”
“Why?”
He shrugged. “I was my father’s heir. That’s all that mattered. I once went two full years without seeing him. He didn’t even recognize me after all that time.”
Irena let out a breath of air. “Oh, Benedict.”
He turned around. “Rosendale didn’t have children. He and his wife couldn’t. Their home became mine.” A ghost of a smile appeared on his face as if picturing them. “He took me everywhere. Everything I know about running the estate I learned from him. And Elizabeth, his wife, always greeted us at the end of the day with a sweet pastry or a bowl of stew.”
“Your mother didn’t wonder where you were all that time?”
“My mother didn’t live there most of the time. She spent the season in London and summered at our Scottish estate. I only saw her at holidays.”
“Benedict, that’s horrid.” She approached him. “Your parents abandoned you,” she said, stopping inches from him. “It’s unforgivable.”
“I was better off without them. Life was rather unpleasant when they were in the same house.”
“Why? I realize members of the peerage rarely marry for love, but most at least settle into a tolerable companionship. Even my parents enjoyed that much.”
“Perhaps my parents were less companionable than most.” He said it with a smile, but the tightness of his jaw told her he wasn’t as cavalier about it as he wanted her to believe.
Irena lifted her hand, hesitated for a second, and then rested her palm against his