hours that she’s fine?” Malcolm asked.
“Yeah.”
“Or say something you thought was funny only to have her get super offended?”
“Well, yeah, but—”
Yan piped in. “Or tell her that you put the dishes in the dishwasher only to have her get all pissy about how you shouldn’t expect a gold star for doing what should be the responsibility of any adult in the goddamn house?”
A chill ran down his spine. “Have you guys been talking to her?”
Yan snorted. “You guys speak different languages to each other.” He pointed at the book. “You’ll learn hers by reading romance.”
“But Thea doesn’t even read these kinds of books!”
The guys exchanged glances and then burst out laughing. Del patted him on the back. “Keep telling yourself that.”
“I’ve never seen anything like this in the house.”
Derek Wilson, a local businessman he recognized from his TV commercials, spoke up. “She have one of those e-reader things?”
“Yeah. I mean, I don’t know. I think so.”
“It’s full of romance novels. Trust us.”
Gavin looked at the book in his hand. “So you’re saying I need to d-do w-what the guy in this book does?” Good God, was he actually starting to listen to them?
“Not word-for-word, no,” Del answered. “The point is to fit the lessons of it into your own marriage. Plus, that’s a Regency, so—”
“What the hell is a Regency?”
“That means it’s set in eighteenth- or early nineteenth-century England.”
“Oh, great. That sounds relevant.”
“It is, actually,” Malcolm said. “Modern romance novelists use the patriarchal society of old British aristocracy to explore the gender-based limitations placed on women today in both the professional and personal spheres. That shit is feminist as fuck.”
Mack winked. “The sex scenes are also really fucking hot.”
Gavin dropped the book.
Mack and Wilson laughed and high-fived. “I loved that one,” Wilson said. “At least a BB Four.”
“Do I want to know what that means?” Gavin shuddered.
“It’s our rating system for how much sex is in it,” Wilson said.
“But what does BB stand for?”
The whole table spoke at once. “Book Boner.”
Gavin shot to his feet again. “This is ridiculous. My w-w-wife isn’t going to take me back because of some stupid books.” But what was even more ridiculous was that he was actually starting to consider it. It’s not like he could fuck things up any worse than they were.
“The books are just part of it,” Del said, picking up His Naked Countess or whatever it was called. “We’ve all been through it and came out on the other end better men, better husbands, and better lovers.”
Gavin stopped and looked up at that. “What do you mean?”
“Well, that got his attention.” Mack snorted. “Is that the problem, dude? Trouble in the bedroom?”
A heat rash broke out on Gavin’s neck. “No,” he growled.
“Because you know that problems in the bedroom stem from problems outside the bedroom. You can’t fix one without the other.”
Orgasms are the least of their problems.
Gavin jerked a thumb in Mack’s direction but spoke directly to Del. “Why is this dickweed part of the club? He’s not even married.”
“I’m here for the dirty parts,” Mack said, winking as he chomped into a slice of pizza, devouring half of it in one big bite.
Yan stood and approached him. “Look, I thought these guys were fucking with me too. I didn’t even look at the book they gave me for a month. But I’m telling you—we’re all telling you—we can help you. Book club isn’t just about books.”
Malcolm nodded solemnly. “It’s a brotherhood, man.”
“A way of life,” one of the city officials said.
Mack slung an arm over Wilson’s shoulder. “An emotional fucking journey.”
Gavin backed up. “I don’t like emotional journeys.”
“Just trust us,” Del said. “We’ll come up with a plan for saving your marriage every step of the way.”
“Are you sure you’re not just screwing with me?”
“You’re one of my best friends,” Del said. “Do you really think I’d make a joke out of you and Thea breaking up?”
“No.” Gavin sighed. But it seemed too easy. Read some books and, voilà? Thea would take him back with open arms? Was he really that desperate?
He pictured life without Thea.
Yes, he was really that desperate.
Gavin studied the cover again. “Why this one?”
Mack smirked. “Because it’s about an idiot who screws up his marriage and has to win back his wife. Sound familiar?”
He swallowed against his rising humiliation. “What do I have to do?”
“Simple,” Malcolm said. “Listen to us and read the book.”
“Yeah.” Del snorted. “And for fuck’s sake, do not kiss your wife again until I tell you to.”
Courting the