cars. Prom was a rite of passage and I was being driven to it in an old beat up truck. As frustrated as I was, I forced a smile and tried to make the night memorable.
The prom committee decided to have our prom on a boat of all things. It was romantic, even if I was still wary of the water after Dad scared me a few summers before. I hoped Luke and I could work out our problems and maybe both head to Boston in the fall. Even if he didn’t attend college there, we could at least be together.
The giant yacht was decorated beautifully, our school colors displayed proudly throughout the vessel. There was a live band and the dance floor was dim, perfect for those intimate moments. I wondered if Luke would even ask me to dance or if he and Baker would go out on the balcony and sneak cigarettes.
To my surprise, Luke wanted to dance right away.
“Dance with me?” he asked.
I smiled up at him. We were the first couple on the dance floor, swaying to the music of a popular love song. His eyes burned into mine and I realized he was thinking about how to say the words neither of us wanted to speak. He remained silent until the song was almost finished.
“Do you think we can make this work?”
I drew in a breath. I wasn’t sure exactly what he meant, but I was positive I wouldn’t like the direction the conversation was heading in.
“What do you mean?”
“There are so many reasons for us not to go to Boston, Mal,” he said.
“What reasons?” I retorted. I knew he was afraid but he wouldn’t admit it.
When the song ended, he dragged me from the dance floor out onto the balcony and found us a quiet corner to talk.
“Where were we?” he asked.
He ran a hand through his hair, an action I’d once adored and thought was sexy, but now I despised. Every little thing he did annoyed me.
I folded my arms over my chest defensively. “Reasons for not going to Boston.”
“Right. There are so many reasons. Your dad, Mal –”
“My dad! That’s your reason? My dad has nothing to do with us, with our future. How dare you bring him into this! He has been the one pushing me to go away to college, to get away from the small town life. You don’t get to use him as an excuse,” I whispered harshly.
I knew better than to yell, but boy, did I want to. My dad was pushing me harder than anyone I knew to get out of Casper, to make a life for myself. He wanted more for me than he had in his life. And I wanted more, too. Girls in Casper ended up married and pregnant within two years of high school graduation. I didn’t want to be just another statistic. I wanted more.
“Okay, forget your dad. Do you really want to live in a huge city with so many people around day and night?”
He was grasping for straws and we both knew it.
“I’ve already told you how I feel about city life, Luke. If you don’t want to go, just say so. Stop trying to make me out to be the bad guy. I have been up front and honest about what I want since the day we met,” I said.
“I’m sorry, Mallory. We just want different things,” he said hoarsely.
His eyes were red and I thought he might cry. His sadness only fueled my anger.
“Don’t apologize, Luke. Obviously, you don’t know a single thing about me. Do me a favor, though. Stay out of my way for the rest of the summer and in the fall, I’ll be out of your life for good. You win.”
The agony of that night had lasted all summer and well into my freshman year of college. I hadn’t dated much because of the ache my heart felt every time a guy called me “Mal” the way Luke did. As much as I told myself I wouldn’t, I ended up comparing every guy I dated to him and each one fell short.
I finally ignored guys completely and focused on my job and my studies. I kept busy enough to forget the pain, or at least bury it deep enough that I couldn’t feel it anymore. There was an occasional date, but only because my roommates forced it on me. But coming home had been like someone dug up the grave of my broken