when I wondered what Rainey and Gabby would have to say about this. Lucky for me, Rainey was getting ready to visit Mallory in Boston and Gabby was busy helping Irene get the Wells’ house ready for the sale.
The door slammed behind Baker and I was left alone with my thoughts. I thought I might feel better if I purged, so I leaned over the toilet and let go. Several minutes later, my head cleared a little and I was able to start the shower. The steamy water refreshed me even more. When I stepped from the shower, I felt like this afternoon was some long ago dream. Or nightmare. But I was reminded of exactly what I’d done when I stepped out of the bathroom and into my living room. I had thrown on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt I had hanging on the back of the door in the bathroom. Wolfe and Baker stared me down as I approached them in the kitchen.
Wolfe leaned casually against the counter while Baker stood rigid in the center of my kitchen, arms folded across his chest. I was about to be scolded and I never felt like I deserved it more. Wolfe handed me a bottle of water and a handful of aspirin. I took them gratefully.
“Are you an idiot?” Baker asked me after another minute of silence.
“It would seem so,” Wolfe replied for me. He was right, of course. I was an idiot. I never should have let Mallory go back to Boston, never should have started drinking today, and never should have become friends with these two.
“I have my reasons,” I mumbled. I swigged more water.
“Reasons for ruining your life? Do tell,” Baker insisted.
He wasn’t going to back down and I suddenly wished for the days when we would joke nonstop. I wasn’t too sure I liked this serious Baker.
“Mallory and I are done. She told me so herself. She doesn’t want anything to do with me. I never should have gotten involved with her when she came back. She wasn’t looking for some commitment, she only came home to bury her father. I think that much is obvious. And as to my drinking, I know it was stupid. But I couldn’t deal with the pain of being again,” I explained.
“Alcohol won’t numb the pain, Luke. If anything, it worsens it. Trust me, I know,” Wolfe said quietly. I looked at him and realized how much he understood exactly how I felt. Mallory and I might not have been married, but we had been so happy. And now all that remain between us was regret and broken promises.
“You’re right,” I said. “Thank you both for getting me out of there when you did.” It was a thanks and apology all rolled into one. They both nodded.
“So, now that you’re coherent, what are you going to do about Mallory?” Wolfe asked.
I was confused. “Do? There’s nothing to do. She’s gone,” I said. The words gripped my heart and shred it into a million tiny pieces.
“Only if you let her go. She still has feelings for you, Luke,” Baker insisted.
I knew he was right. She’d told me as much the night before she left. I want you to want to be where I am. Was she saying she wanted me to come to Boston? To make some romantic gesture to her? I wasn’t sure, but I wasn’t about to move to Boston, either. I hated the city.
“I know she does. And I am in love with her. But it doesn’t matter if we can’t work our problems out. There are too many complications,” I said.
“You’re a coward,” Wolfe spat.
“Excuse me?” My head was still a bit cloudy, but he couldn’t be talking to me.
“You are. The woman you love wants to be with you, she just doesn’t know how. If Gabby asked me to stop the earth so we could be together, I wouldn’t stop until I found a way to do it. I would do anything to keep her in my life,” Wolfe said, and then emphasized, “Anything.”
His words sparked the harsh reality of what I was letting go. Mallory wasn’t just a fling for me, she wasn’t someone I had a one-night stand with and could easily toss aside. She was Mallory. My first love, and really, my only. I’d been with women in our time apart, but none had evoked the emotions in me that she did. None of them completed me, as cliché as that