Every muscle in my body tightened. I wasn’t eager to have this conversation.
I carefully cubed potatoes and put them into the stockpot. What could I say? I wouldn’t lie to my mother, but how could I explain our relationship when I didn’t understand it myself?
“It’s complicated.” That was the best explanation I could muster. I shifted, hating being put on the spot. I silently reminded myself to make sure to put Quinn in the hot seat the first chance I got.
“Are you thinking about seeing her again?” Mom leaned against the counter next to me as I carefully sliced through a halved potato.
I sighed. “I don’t want to talk about this right now. Like I said, it’s complicated.”
To my surprise, she didn’t ask any more questions. Instead, she wound her arms around me. “I love you and matters of the heart are always complicated.” She rose on tiptoes and pressed a kiss to my cheek before leaving the room while calling out for Quinn in her you’re in trouble, mister voice.
I sighed and leaned against the counter. Maybe it should have been confusing or difficult, but it wasn’t. Being with Kandra felt right. Perhaps it was stupid to jump back in given our past, but I wanted to trust that things would be different, that we could make us work.
Was that such a far-fetched idea?
With the table ready and all the delicious comfort foods set out, we took our seats.
I glanced at Dad’s spot as memories of him laughing at one of our terrible jokes came to mind. Memories of him talking to us about our day. His gentle approval at our good grades; his disproval of Bayden getting into a fight. Though he agreed Bayden did the right thing by standing up for himself, he’d also said he wished my brother could have resolved the issue without violence, but he’d been quick to say he understood not everything could be easily solved.
My moment of silence went unbroken, and I realized everyone was thinking about him. Quinn spoke up first. “Remember that time he made a mask out of a paper plate and tried to scare us with it?”
I remembered the diversionary look over there he’d done that made us all look away, and when we glanced back, he had a painted paper plate covering his face. Quinn had jumped, but the rest of us laughed.
“Yeah, he scared you.” Ethan’s voice held a hint of humor and an edge of agony and loss.
We’d talked about the girls we liked, the philosophy of life, and everything big and small. Dinner was forever quieter without him.
Mom’s eyes misted over, and she blinked while staring straight ahead. Her hands balled up on either side of her plate, and she seemed to be looking past us at something we couldn’t see. Without thinking about it, I stood up and walked over to her. Winding my arms around her, I spoke softly. “I love you.”
She patted my arm. “I love you, too.”
A moment later, Quinn’s arms came around her, and Ethan followed suit. Bayden covered her hand with his, and we hugged as a group.
She let out a light sniff and a little laugh. “I think I heard your stomach growl.” She looked at Quinn. “Let’s eat before the food gets cold. It looks and smells delicious.”
We broke apart and retook our spots. As we passed food around the table and loaded up our plates, Quinn started in on Bayden. I breathed a sigh of relief that he was off my back for now, though, I felt bad for Bayden.
“Have you asked her out yet?” Quinn elbowed Bayden, who shrugged him off and took a bite of mac and cheese.
“Has he asked who out?” Mom watched both her sons closely while I dumped gravy on my potatoes and noticed the sparkle in Ethan’s eyes.
Quinn continued to stare at Bayden while he answered our mother. “He’s in love with the new sheriff.”
“I’m not in love with her.” Bayden elbowed Quinn in the ribs, and his twin let out a pained exhale.
It didn’t even slow him down. “Oh, no? You let her walk around on the job site.” Quinn grinned, and I found I wasn’t the only one who noticed that out of character move. Bayden was safety-minded and didn’t let anyone walk around our construction sites.
“We’re building the new police station. It’s not that weird to let Miranda tour it.” Bayden shoved a bite of mashed potato into his mouth, though his sullen expression told everyone