go, are you?”
“Nah. We care about you, so we want to be here for you, but you make that hard as hell, brother.” His attention returned to his tablet. “Besides, I think you’re already in over your head with her. I’m not sure you ever climbed out of the deep end with that one.”
I dumped out the rest of my coffee and screwed the cap back on. I’d lost all taste for it, not that I’d be able to taste it anyway after scalding every taste bud to death.
“I’m not in love with her if that’s what you think.” I tossed the thermos on the passenger seat of my truck.
He snorted. “Okay. Keep lying to yourself, but we all know better.” He lowered the iPad and gave me his undivided attention.
I closed my truck door and stood for a moment while considering all exit strategies. “What are you working on?” Maybe I could derail him by getting him to talk about work.
“Top secret project. Try again.” He grinned.
“Try what again?” I gave as innocent of an expression as I could while leaning back against my truck.
He frowned. “Try changing the subject again. You’re terrible at not giving yourself away. Maybe you should work on that.” With that, he walked away.
I wasn’t fooling any of them. Damn.
The memory of Kandra’s big blue eyes as she leaned in to kiss me rose in my mind once more. I let out a soft curse and walked away from my truck. I would get hurt again. I wasn’t enough for her all those years ago, so why would that have changed now? If it did, was her settling for me something I could live with?
I glanced at the sky. “I could use some advice, Dad.” A profound sense of loss filled me, and I found myself missing him more than ever. Not just because I wanted his counsel, but because I missed the man who was my hero.
Of course, there was no answer save the sound of men working behind me—not that I expected anything else. No, I had a feeling I’d been right at the start. It was best to avoid Kandra.
“You coming back to work?” Quinn waved me over, and I walked toward him. There were things to do, and I didn’t have time to wallow in self-pity and wonder about what-ifs or if-onlys.
Maybe if I put my back into a few hours of hard work, I could forget my problems, forget Kandra’s kiss, and forget how much I missed my dad.
I stood next to Quinn, aware he was staring at me intently.
“If you need to jet out of here, I’ll cover for you,” Quinn said.
I gawked at him. “Why, did something happen?” My heart thundered as worry swept over me. Was it Mom? What had I missed?
He gave his head a slow side to side shake. “Nothing happened, but that’s the same look you had on your face at Dad’s funeral. If you need time, go. We’ve got this.”
“Nah, I need the distraction. Might head out a bit early to pick up groceries though.” My fridge was looking pretty pathetic. This morning my breakfast options were a beer, an old opened bottle of water, and various condiments. I didn’t like to shop, but I wanted to eat, so sacrifices needed to be made.
“That’s fine.” Despite his assurance, I noticed him eyeing me as we threw ourselves into work. It wasn’t just him keeping tabs on me. Bayden and Ethan watched me much more closely than usual. Tuning them out, I focused on the job. Everywhere an extra set of hands was needed, I volunteered.
“Slow down, brother, or you’ll make us look bad,” Bayden said, handing me a nail gun.
I chuckled. “Get to work then, you lazy bastard.”
“He resembles that remark,” Ethan said.
And for a little while, it was like old times before Kandra came back and before Dad died. Back when everything was easy.
When it was finally time for me to duck out, I got in my truck and closed the door, and breathed a sigh of relief. My body was sore from the hard work, but it was the exhaustion in my mind that stuck out.
A couple of the guys waved, and even though my arm seemed to weigh a thousand pounds, I returned the gesture.
As I geared up to shop, I promised myself I’d keep it short and get home to relax from all the stress of the day.
Chapter Twelve
Kandra
I glanced into the cart, trying to figure out what