“But I’m still contactable. There’s no pressure. But I need you to know that I’m not dead. I’m more alive than ever. And I’m here.”
They both look away briefly, ashamed, because they have both wished me dead.
“Thank you,” I say quietly, rising to my feet. “For looking after him, thank you.” I can’t hold back the tears. They’re powering forward now, the gravity of the moment settling. “I just want to get to know him.”
Hilary shoots forward and takes me in her arms, and it’s now I realize what makes her such a good mother. Comfort and peace blankets me, just from being in her arms. “I’m so sorry.”
“Me too,” I admit, breaking free and brushing away the tears. “You’ll be in touch?”
She nods, and I smile, moving past them toward the front door. When I make it there, I look up to the top of the stairs and silently tell him I love him once again. That I’ll see him soon.
As I wander down the perfect pathway toward the road, I see Esther still idling at the curb in the cab. She smiles at my tears, and I smile in return. I should have known she wouldn’t leave. “Okay?” she asks when I slip into the seat.
“It will be.” I look to the house, zooming in on the window that has Star Wars curtains hanging at them. “I met him,” I say and Esther’s eyes nearly pop out, making me smile. “He doesn’t know who I am yet, but I saw him. He’s the most beautiful kid I’ve ever seen.” My voice quivers, a perfectly clear image of Daniel at the forefront of my mind.
Esther’s hand reaches for mine and holds it gently. “I’m so happy you’ve found him.”
My heart squeezes for Esther. She found her son, and then she lost him all over again. I lean across the car and take her in a hug, relaxing into her warmth. I don’t say anything. I don’t need to. We’re both utterly devastated by the loss of her son. Had it not been for the gift Danny left me, I’m not sure where I’d be heading right now. Actually, I do. I’d be freefalling into nothing. I detour from my thoughts before I soak her shoulder with my tears.
She pulls away from me. “Where to?”
“The airport,” I say, resting back and gazing out of the window. I need to do as I’m told. Remind myself of who I am. Strong. Fierce. And soon, I pray, a mom.
Chapter 29
ROSE
* * *
Crystal clear waters. Golden sand. Space for miles and miles. Peace and quiet. It’s paradise here. The beach house Danny left me isn’t quite a beach house. More a giant villa. Eight bedrooms, four reception rooms, five bathrooms. What the hell will I do with eight bedrooms? My mind was blown when the cab driver pulled up outside the gated complex earlier today. I wandered around in a daze of shock and confusion, finding room after room. The garden is the beach, and that’s where I’m standing now, looking out to the horizon as the sun sets. The breeze has loose strands of my hair whipping my face, and my toes are sunken into the wet sand, water swishing around my feet. There’s not one cloud in the sky, and as I look up, closing my eyes, I breathe in the sea air, relishing the lowering sun on my face.
I remain there for an age, soaking up the rays and peace, looking out to sea. The colors here are vivid. My world isn’t black anymore. And that was his intention.
I hear someone approaching behind me, and I turn on a peaceful inhale, pulling my hair into a ponytail as I do. I see a short man, dressed in a white uniform. “Miss Cassidy?”
“Yes?”
He says no more and hands me an envelope before leaving. Looking down at the paper in my hand, my mind swirls. What is this? I look around the beach, for what reason I don’t know. I’m just . . . thrown. Slipping my thumb past the seal, I peel it open, pulling out a sheet of paper. My heart gallops, wondering if this is another note from Danny. I don’t want to read it if it is. He’ll haunt me for the rest of my damn life.
Holding on to my breath, I unfold the paper, squeezing my eyes closed when I see my name in his handwriting at the top. “You bastard,” I say out loud, wishing he