Ringo curses, falling back to his arse, leaving Danny hanging off the side of the boat. “Fuck,” he spits, grappling to hold on.
“Danny!” Brad roars.
I dive forward and grab his arms, adrenalin fueling me. “Get back, Rose,” he yells, trying to shake me off. “You’ll fall in.”
“Fuck you.” I fight to help him up, try my hardest, but he’s too heavy. “Kick your legs!” I yell, finding his eyes.
He stares at me. Just stares. And he smiles again. And then the loudest bang erupts, and his body jerks, his smile falling. It takes me a few confused moments to realize what’s happening. Then Danny’s body becomes heavier, slipping from my grasp. “No,” I mumble, searching his blue eyes. This time, I find . . . nothing. No light. No ice. No smile. Nothing. “Danny?”
He starts to slip down the side of the boat, his eyes closing, and I grapple and fight to keep him up as the boat speeds away.
“Ringo!” I scream, holding on to him for dear life. “Ringo, he’s been hit again!”
But Ringo doesn’t answer me, his gun firing constantly. I look up, seeing a few jet skis in pursuit.
“Oh my God,” I breathe, realigning my focus on getting Danny into the boat. But he’s slipping. Slipping. Slipping.
His eyes are closed. His body limp. “Please, Danny.” I beg, but I lose my grip, and he slips away from me, dropping into the sea. “No!” I watch him getting further away from me. “Danny!” I scream, my heart tearing in two.
“Fuck, no!” Brad yells as I climb onto the side of the boat. “Rose, no!”
I’m yanked back and hit the floor hard. “I lost him,” I sob, crawling to my knees, looking out. “We need to go back, Brad.” A bullet hits the side of the boat, and I duck instinctively, covering my ears, the sounds unbearable. “We need to go back!”
“We’ll all be killed,” Brad shouts, and I break down, tears pouring down my cheeks.
Ringo curses, his body crashing down next to mine, his hand going to his shoulder, blood coating his fingers. “For fuck’s sake.” He looks at me. It’s a look I’ll never forget. Full of sadness. Of pity.
A wretched sob tumbles as I recklessly get to my knees and look back, searching for him, my eyes darting frantically across the dark water. And I see him. Floating. Just floating, face down. “No,” I whisper raggedly.
“Get us out of here,” Brad bellows, firing again taking out two of the jet skis.
My shout is carnal and raw and full of devastation, my body jolting as the boat hits the waves at high speed. But however much I’m being tossed around, my eyes remain steady and level, locked on Danny’s lifeless body, growing smaller and smaller. Until the sea eventually takes him.
And I can no longer see him.
But I will always see him.
I stare down at the razor blade in my hand. Release. I need a release. I need to control this pain. I rest the edge on my arm. Close my eyes. Breathe in. And exhale as I drag it through my skin. My entire being relaxes.
“Rose!”
I startle, blinking my eyes open. Esther’s face is a picture of raw disgust as she swipes her hand out, knocking the blade to the carpet. I stare down at it. Blank. She doesn’t say a word. She doesn’t take the blade either. She just turns and walks out, and I stare at the bedroom door for long after she’s slammed it, until I feel the blood dripping from my arm onto the carpet. I look down, watching as the plush fibers soak up the thick red blobs.
Lost.
Flashbacks assault me, my hands coming to my head, trying to squash them. I can’t. As long as I’m living, breathing, I’ll never escape them. The boatyard was a mass grave.
Visions.
The blood. The destruction. The sounds. Danny’s face before I lost my grip.
I drag myself to my feet and wander aimlessly through the silent mansion. I find Esther in the kitchen loading the dishwasher. She pauses. Looks at my arm. Then calmly goes to the cupboard and pulls the first aid box down. I take a seat at the island and rest my arm on the counter.
Empty.
She works silently, wrapping my arm carefully with steady hands. And when she’s done, she looks up at me, her palm cupping my cheek. I know what she’s going to say, and I absolutely cannot bear hearing it. So I start to subtly shake my head. It’s been