until her face fills the screen. “What I think Ellie’s trying to say, is that relationships take practice too, and there are ups and downs, but don’t give up on something so good.”
I hear Ellie in the background. “No, I was really just talking about Beck’s kissing. She stopped telling us anything after that but I’m sure his other skills are great too.”
Zora must have grabbed the phone because she’s suddenly in the screen, adding, “Skills in the bedroom. Or in your case, in the van.”
“Or storage closet!” Lucy calls.
“I’m hanging up now. Love you! Bye.”
I do end the call then before they can say anything else. They might have made me laugh, just a little. I might even be smiling. But my heart hurts, and all I want to do is crawl under the covers and curl up in a ball. I miss him, so damn bad. But it doesn’t matter. Because I’m here, he’s there, and that’s not going to change. Even when I’m back on campus, we can’t be together, not really. I’m sure by now Beck’s realized how crazy it was for us to try to stay together in secret for another year. I did us both a favor by ending it now, before any more damage was done.
Chapter Five
Beck
“You look like shit. You gonna tell me what’s going on?” Griff hands me a beer before sitting on the couch across from me.
It’s three days before Christmas. One week since Jordan left. Three weeks until filming starts. I’m aware of the days changing, time moving forward, but I feel frozen. Stuck somewhere between finding Jordan in the ER and getting her text message she was flying home.
“Not now, Griff. Isn’t Moses dropping by any minute?” We’re at my mom’s house. Earlier, we saw Moses pulling in to Airwalk as we were headed out.
Griff leans forward. “She emailed me, you know. Said she doesn’t have a phone, it’s still with the cops. Why’d she leave it there anyway if they aren’t doing anything?”
“My guess is she needed a break from that thing after the messages she got.”
A break from me too.
“That’s what her email said. She wants out of social media, Brazen, competitions, all of it. Didn’t sound like a break she was proposing either.”
I take a long pull of my beer, trying to fight the persistent aching in my chest. It hasn’t gone away.
“Beckett!” The shrill voice of my sister comes from the second floor, and then the sound of feet pattering down the stairs. Her eyes are red like she’s been crying and I’m instantly out of my chair.
“What is it, Rugrat?”
“Jordan broke up with you? What the hell, Beck?” She shoves my chest. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Jordan broke up with you?” Griff echoes.
Hearing those words is like a knife twisting in my gut.
“It’s more like a break, for now, while all this blows over,” I reason, knowing that’s more like wishful thinking.
Summer’s right behind Naomi and instead of shoving me she puts her arms out for a hug. I don’t know that I want a hug. That means this is all true. I thought I’d accepted it already, but as Summer squeezes me tight, a new wave of loss hits.
Pulling away before I break down in front of everyone, I ask the girls how they found out.
“We text with Lucy, Ellie and Zora sometimes. They finally got her on FaceTime and were worried about her. We’re worried too. Anyway, they said she seems depressed and it’s probably because she broke up with you. So then we got her mom’s number from Zora and called her and got the whole story.”
“The whole story? There’s not much of a story.” She ended things because the crap that came with being my girlfriend wasn’t worth it to her. Long distance wasn’t worth it.
The doorbell rings, and I move before anyone else can, needing to escape this room and everyone’s pity.
“Hey Moses, what’s up?”
“Thanks for having me. Man, you look like hell, you okay?”
I try to laugh, but it’s not very convincing. “Come on in. Want a beer?”
“Sure.”
I go straight for the kitchen while Moses greets the others. When I return with his beer a moment later, Moses still hasn’t sat down. “Is this a bad time? I can head out.”
“No, it’s fine, man. We just found out Beck and his girlfriend broke up.”
I freeze, glaring at Griff and daring him to look my way, which he doesn’t. Apparently my relationship with Jordan isn’t a secret anymore,