like that. There was very little laughter and I never understood why my parents married in the first place. They certainly never showed any affection. I wasn’t allowed to have a pet. Neither was my brother. We were expected to be perfect. I guess my brother and I failed.” She took another sip of wine. “And I’m jabbering again. A bad habit when I’m nervous.”
“Why are you nervous?”
Swallowing, Chloe lowered her head, chewing on her bottom lip. A full minute passed, a slight flush creeping up from her neck to her cheeks. “I’m going to say something to you, and I know that you’re not going to want to hear it, but just allow me to say it without interruption. Okay?”
“All right.” My heart racing, I fisted my hand out of frustration.
“I know this is going to sound crazy, but I’ve fallen in love with you. I’m certain of it. There would be some who would say it was because of the danger we went through and the fact you saved my life a couple of times.” She laughed nervously, darting a look in my direction. “But they’d be wrong. I might not know everything about you, but you allowed me to catch a glimpse of your soul. I was right about you. You are a courageous man. You’re intelligent and passionate, and when you allow yourself to forget about your honor and duties, the way you lust for life is incredible. I just… Well, there it is. Stupid, huh?”
I realized I’d been holding my breath. The electricity soaring through me tugged at every cell and muscle in my body. I took her hand in mine, intertwining our fingers. “That’s not stupid at all, Chloe. That’s beautiful.”
“But you don’t feel the same.”
“I’ve never allowed myself to love a woman. Have I been with several over the years? Yes, but not in a long time and certainly not in any kind of serious way.”
“Why?”
“Because I knew that wouldn’t be fair to them. Life of the Bratva is no place for a woman.”
“Let alone those rules you had to follow.”
Huffing, I squeezed her hand. “I assure you that a few of the rules weren’t followed religiously. When Maxim declared himself to be my new father, I learned early on that his wife and daughter had been murdered by a rival family years before. That left him bitter. I watched several wives or girlfriends of soldiers in our organization killed or abducted. I made a promise to myself early on I wouldn’t allow that to happen to anyone I cared about.”
“But you’re not in the Bratva any longer. At least I don’t think you are. Are you?” She shifted closer, daring me to answer with her rebellious expression.
“I don’t know yet. That’s as honest as I can be. Look what happened these past few days. Do you honestly think I want to place you in any danger from here on out?”
She nodded several times, finally rolling her eyes. “No. I understand, but that doesn’t make me happy.”
“Then you’ll find somewhere to go?”
“Yes. I’ll hate it, but I will.”
I loathed the sadness in her voice, the way the light had already gone out of her eyes. Love. I wanted to express my feelings with her more than anything. I longed to gather her into my arms, promising her the very house she’d always wanted, but if I did, she would always be targeted. When I tried to pull her hand to my mouth, she resisted.
“Don’t fight me, Chloe. You are the bright shining star in my life. That’s what you’ll always be. The moments we’ve shared have been the best I’ve ever had in my life.”
“And you’ll never forget me.”
“How could I?” I pulled her hand to my mouth, taking my time to brush my lips across her knuckles, memorizing her face, trying to remember her different beautiful expressions. The way she laughed. The tears. The anger. The determination. She was everything to me. My entire world.
Leaning closer, I placed her hand into her lap then lifted her chin with a single finger.
“Don’t, Nikolai. I can’t take loving you any longer.”
Growling in response, I lowered my head until our lips were only centimeters apart. “I can’t stop hungering for you.” As I captured her mouth, she placed her hand against my chest, pushing in an effort to shove me away. Then she wrapped her fingers around my shirt, pulling me in closer.
Every part of my body craved hers, my mind exploding with thoughts. Then