got tons of friends, ready to listen to you and sympathise and see you through the bad times. Which is a lot more than I have, and yet I haven’t resorted to booze as some kind of a crutch!’
I’m probably coming across as pious – but I’m so crushed by Flo’s deception, I really don’t care what I sound like.
Then Flo looks me straight in the eye and says, ‘Jenny, I have no friends.’
‘What?’ I stare at her, bemused. ‘Of course you have. All the people you meet for drinks in the pub? That day we met, you had wine in your basket because you’d invited friends round that night.’
She shakes her head. ‘That was another lie.’
‘What?’ I can hardly believe all this. ‘So what about Carole, your old friend from college? Please don’t tell me she was a lie as well?’
She heaves a heavy sigh. ‘I made her up. Carole doesn’t exist.’
‘But why, for goodness’ sake?’
‘Why?’ She stares at me, her face crumpling, tears pricking her eyes. ‘Because I was terrified you’d see me as I truly am: just a lonely old drunk. I’m so ashamed of the fact that every night, when I get home, the first thing I do is go to the fridge or the wine rack and open another bottle. I sit in front of the TV and drink, glass after glass, passing the time until I can justify crawling up to bed and passing out. And even knowing I’m going to feel like hell in the morning doesn’t seem to help. It’s like I have this need to escape from my life – and alcohol is the only way I can do it.’
I listen to all this in mounting horror.
I can’t help feeling for Flo in her torment. But what cuts really deeply is that practically everything she’s told me – right from that first meeting in the corner shop – has been untrue. I took her on in good faith, not even insisting on references. What a fool I am!
‘Have you been drinking on the job at Marjery’s?’ I ask coldly.
‘No! Never! And I wouldn’t. I’d never want to mess things up for you. Honestly, Jenny, you have to believe me!’
I give a bitter laugh. ‘And why would I do that? When pretty much everything you’ve told me up till now has been a lie?’
She opens her mouth to protest, but my angry look silences her.
She closes her eyes briefly, her face chalk white. ‘I’m so sorry, Jenny. I should never have lied. But I really wanted the job. Not just because I needed employment. But because I really liked you. I lied about my life because I didn’t want you to think I was this sad person who’s such a mess she goes home and drinks every night in order to get through. The truth is, I hate myself. I’m so ashamed but I can’t seem to dig myself out of the hole I’ve slid into. I hate the fact that I’ve let you down and if there was anything I could do to make things right, I’d do it straight away…’ She swallows, trailing off. ‘But I can see from your face that you don’t want my apologies, and I honestly don’t blame you…I’ll go, shall I?’
She looks so genuinely upset and contrite, I can feel myself weakening.
But how could I trust her?
So I harden myself to the tears in her eyes and say coldly, ‘I think you’d better.’
She nods wearily and turns.
‘Flo?’
She looks round, her face lit with sudden hope. And just for a second, I think, maybe I could…?
But then I recall all the bare-faced lies and my heart sinks like a stone in a pond. Trust was always going to be an issue for me after Harvey’s deception was laid bare. How is this with Flo any different?
‘I’ll manage myself from now on,’ I murmur, turning my back on her so she can’t see the tears in my own eyes…
CHAPTER TWENTY
Menu – Day 5
Lunch American-style
Sticky-baked chicken wings with barbecue sauce
***
Pulled pork with cornbread topping
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Key lime pie, topped with whipped cream and lime zest
***
Back with the girls, I tell everyone that Flo suddenly felt unwell and had to go home, and Fen offers to give me a lift over to Brambleberry Manor.
‘Poor Flo. Is it a stomach bug or something?’ asks Fen in the car.
‘Er, yes. She just felt a bit sick.’ I bite my lip and stare out of the passenger window, hating the lie. My heart feels