up for him—like always. “He’s not an asshole. Just going through a hard time…”
“He’s not the one crying every day.” He glanced at me in the rearview mirror, telling me he’d noticed the redness in my eyes, the puffiness in my cheeks.
It’d definitely been a rough week.
When Ronnie dropped me off, I went to my apartment. My mom was teaching Lizzie how to cook, and the two of them stood in the kitchen preparing dinner. Mom grabbed a bottle of olive oil and poured it over the chicken. “You’ve got to keep your meat wet. Otherwise, it’ll burn.”
Lizzie crossed her arms over her chest. “When I asked you to show me how to cook, I meant tacos or something…”
I set my purse on the table and headed down the hallway without saying hello. There was so much weight on my shoulders that I couldn’t carry it anymore. I had tough skin so I could deal with Derek treating me so poorly, but the fact that we used to be so close was the hardest part. It was like we broke up, even though we were never together.
I was stupid for assuming the dust would settle. I realized I only had one option.
Quit.
Maybe he was purposely being a dick so I would do just that.
I grabbed my laptop and wrote an email to my old publisher, asking if it was possible for me to have my old job back, or if there was something else available similar to my old salary. It was humiliating to grovel for my old job, but I needed something quick.
Lizzie peeked into my bedroom. “Mom?”
I kept my eyes on my computer. “Hmm?”
She stepped farther inside. “Mom, are you okay?”
“Yes. Why wouldn’t I be?” I finished typing the email and closed the laptop.
She crossed her arms over her chest, not having an attitude like usual because she seemed to believe something was troubling me. “Well, you always look at me when I talk to you…”
Guilt swept through me.
“You’ve been down all week. I know you think I’m a kid, but I notice this stuff.”
Sometimes I forgot how quickly she had aged. She was still a child to me, but I remembered how I was at that age. Lizzie was a million times smarter than I ever was as a preteen. I sat up in bed and leaned against the headboard. “It’s just been a hard week at work.”
She came to my bed and lay beside me, cuddling with me. “Do you wanna talk about it?”
My arm wrapped around her, and I pressed a kiss to the side of her head. Having my little girl in my arms quickly chased away my pain. Losing Derek even when he had never been mine was so hard, but I had something much more important to cherish. If he was this upset by my daughter’s existence, then I didn’t want to be with him anyway. “I’m feeling better already.”
After I brought lunch, I stepped inside his office so I could check my email and eat. When I glanced out the window, I saw Derek grab a bag of chips and a sandwich and plop it on his plate before he returned to his workstation. He ate and worked at the same time, no longer interested in sharing his meals with me. He was upset that I’d lied to him, but if he could forget about me so easily, then he’d never really cared about me to begin with.
When I checked my email, I saw my lifeline.
Hey Emmy,
It’s so nice to hear from you! You know, we’ve never really been able to fill your shoes. We don’t have that same editing position, but we can fit you into the marketing department. How’s that? Sorry it didn’t work out at your current job, but we’re happy to have you back!
–Jim
Oh, thank god. I really needed that.
I hadn’t told my parents that they would have to move back in with me pretty soon. Lizzie and I would have to share a bedroom again, and the four of us would be corralled into a nine-hundred-square-foot apartment. But I was able to pay for my father’s surgery and a lot of his physical therapy, and he was already doing so much better, so it was totally worth it. And I had a good amount in savings for Lizzie’s college fund.
I went through Derek’s company email next. There were quite a few people trying to get in contact with him for speaking events or documentaries. Once he