because it’s a situation you can’t control and that makes you uneasy, but the room will be filled with energy and excitement. It’ll be fun.”
He still wouldn’t look at me.
“Derek—”
“I’m a writer. I finished the book. My job is done. That’s why I have a publisher, because it’s their job to market this thing—not mine.”
“But just remember that your fans adore you, and it would mean the world to them if they could have their books signed. How about we commit to just one book signing, and we’ll see how you feel about it before scheduling anything else?”
“At the end of the day, they can’t force me to do anything.”
“No…they can’t.”
He crossed his arms over his chest.
“But think about what it would mean to your fans, Derek.”
“You met me and realized I was this huge asshole. I’m sure that ruined it for you.”
“You are not an asshole. Stop calling yourself that because it’s untrue. You’re the most inspirational person I’ve ever met. Yes, you didn’t make a good first impression, but you just…were in a dark place at the time.”
He turned his head slightly back to me, his temper subdued.
“You’re not in that place anymore.” I didn’t know all the reasons he’d become this broken, haunted man, but I knew he was slowly moving away from his past and coming into the light again. There was far more good than bad. “You’re slowly showing more of yourself, dropping your guard, releasing your paranoia, and the man underneath that…is remarkable. Let them see that. Let everyone see that.”
He stared…for a long time. “You’re the only person who’s seen me. You’re the only person I’ve allowed to see me. Because you’re the only person who’s earned it.”
Now all I could do was stare because it was the most profound thing he’d ever said to me. I was left speechless because it was the most profound thing I’d ever heard anyone say.
He seemed to know how it affected me because he shifted his gaze away. “I’ll do it…because you want me to.”
Lizzie was at school, so Mom and I took Dad to the hospital and sat in the waiting room. The surgery was simple, would only take an hour, and the risk of something bad happening was minimal despite his age.
Mom sat beside me, sipping her coffee. “I wonder if they’re almost done.”
“It’ll be over soon, Mom.” I had my arm around her over the back of the chair, rubbing my palm across her skin.
“You think he’ll be okay?” she asked, hesitation in her voice.
“I know he will.”
She nodded, absorbing my positivity. “You’re right. Because he knows I’ll kill him if he dies.”
I chuckled. “He’s not going to die.”
“We’ve been together so long, since we were seventeen. And we’ve got so much more life to live.”
“And imagine how much more life you’ll be able to live when he’s running around again.”
“Very true, honey.”
“It’ll be alright, Mom.”
She nodded then drank her coffee.
My phone vibrated in my pocket, so I pulled it out. Derek’s message was on the screen. How is he?
Still in surgery.
Alright.
Mom must have seen what he wrote because she said, “That’s nice of him to check in on you…and give you the day off.”
“Yeah, he’s a good guy.”
“Maybe. But I think he might be more than a good guy.”
“Mom.” I rolled my eyes and put my phone away.
“Lizzie showed me a picture of him.” She whistled quietly. “That is one gorgeous man.”
“I’ll tell Dad you said that.”
“Psh. I showed him the picture, and he said the same thing.”
I laughed because it did sound like something Dad would say.
“Maybe he’s more than a boss to you…”
“I’m not sleeping with him.”
“I know…but maybe he wants to sleep with you.”
“Mom.”
“What? You’re so smart and gorgeous, Emmy. There’s no way in hell he doesn’t notice.”
I rolled my eyes. “Not everyone thinks I’m perfect like you do. You’re my mom, of course you think that.”
“That’s not why I think it at all.”
“Even so, our relationship is professional.” I would never tell anyone about the erotic stories he’d written about me, and as far as I could tell, he’d stopped writing them. Even though I thought he was the most desirable man on the planet, I turned off all those feelings and kept my eyes on the road. He was my boss—end of story.
“Would it be the end of the world if it stopped being—”
“The doctor is coming.” I was anxious to end this conversation and find out what happened to my father—two birds with one stone.
We rose