past, because I didn’t see the point, but I’d like to be a better man. More like…like you, and less like my selfish, judgmental family.” Silver detected a glimmer in Donovan’s eyes. “I want to be a good person.”
Silver gave in and took Donovan’s hand in his. “You are a good person. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t give a shit, wouldn’t even bother trying.”
Donovan squeezed their joined fingers. “I’m afraid it’s too late. That…that I won’t find meaning to my life, won’t find love—real love—not some facsimile of what that looks like.” He hiccupped on a sob. “I’m tired of being so fucking alone, of drifting through day after pointless day and pretending I have the best life ever.”
“Then drinking, fucking and buying more and more expensive cars to prove to yourself that your life does have meaning.”
Donovan lowered his head, his shoulders shaking as tears dropped onto the beige fabric of his pants, little spots that testified to Donovan’s genuine pain. For once, the man wasn’t putting on a show.
“C’mere, baby.”
Silver drew Donovan into his arms and let him cry it out. He stayed silent as Donovan wept, rubbing his back in soft circles as Donovan gripped him tighter, clutching Silver’s shirt in desperation.
Finally, Donovan’s sobs subsided, and he let go of Silver’s shirt, the tension leaving his boy as he lay his head on Silver’s shoulder. Silver kept an arm wrapped around him, and rested his cheek against Donovan’s hair. He continued to caress Donovan’s shoulder as he regained control. Donovan sniffed.
“Do you need some tissue?”
Donovan sniffed again as if in response. “I’m doing just fine with my shirt.” He gave a throaty chuckle. “I figured as long as I was behaving like a child, I’d might as well go all in.”
Silver gave Donovan’s shoulder a squeeze. “It’s okay to be a child sometimes, to allow someone else to assume all your care, make sure you’re safe.”
Donovan stayed silent, as if absorbing Silver’s statement. “Okay, all my embarrassment over my emotional display aside, my second guess after Dom was going to be that you’re into Daddy kink. However, what you just said didn’t sound very kinky. Am I still guessing wrong?”
Silver gave Donovan another squeeze then pressed a firm kiss to his forehead. He loosened his hold and tucked a knuckle under his chin, encouraging him to look up. When Donovan raised his swollen, red eyes, Silver’s heart broke at the sadness his boy radiated.
“No, mijo. You’re not wrong. But I prefer not to use the label ‘kink’. It’s not only about sex for me.”
Donovan straightened then swiped his hand across the back of each eye. “Okay, wow. Let me process that for a second.”
“Of course.” Silver rose. “But I think I’ll grab those tissues anyway.”
Donovan let out a chuckle and Silver was relieved that he didn’t seem too freaked out by his revelation. After he grabbed the tissue box and handed it to Donovan, he sat down again.
Silver rested his hand on Donovan’s knee, and when he didn’t tense or pull away, it gave him hope that Donovan might be receptive to what he was about to say.
“Olay, full disclosure. First off, thanks for being so open. I know that was hard, and I’m very proud of you.”
Donovan held up a palm in a stopping gesture, closing his eyes and pressing his lips together. “Wait. You’re going to make me cry again, and I’m still not over the mortification of the last sob fest.”
Silver caressed Donovan’s thigh. “Cry all you want. There’s no shame in it, none at all. I’m here for you, mijo. If you need to let out all the pent-up sadness, disappointment and pain that you’ve been holding onto for years, then give it to me. Let me take on the burden for you. Then, let me help you find your way to the life you want.”
Donovan covered his mouth with both hands. After a beat, he let them drop. “I can’t imagine why anyone would want to do that, but it sounds so fucking amazing. Go on.”
Silver took Donovan’s hand again. “We can take it slow. Start with something that won’t be too overwhelming. I can promise you that for now, my main focus will be to demonstrate how much I care about your wellbeing.”
Donovan’s brow creased. “So, no sex?”
Silver choked out a laugh. Donovan has sounded so sad. “How could I not make love to my beautiful boy? No, what I meant is I won’t be commanding you to do, or not