defense. Did he use a gun to threaten you? A knife? What makes you feel helpless? Vulnerable?”
A glassy film spreads across her eyes as she gets lost in another memory, making me hate the asshole even more than before. I feel like we’ve made so much progress today, but it can fall apart in the blink of an eye.
Frustrated, I snap my fingers in front of her. “Focus, Blue. Where’d you go?”
She clears her throat. “A knife. He liked his knives.”
“Then we’ll teach you how to use one against him,” I promise her. “But not today. Go shower. I’ll make dinner, and we can watch a show or something.”
“A show?”
I laugh. “Yeah. Is that a problem?”
“No,” she admits, but her cheeks heat with embarrassment as she drops her gaze to the ground like a shy little kitten.
“Then why are you blushing?” I tease. There’s just something about this girl that makes me desperate to knock down the barrier she’s constructed around herself, though I doubt she’ll ever let me get close enough to try.
“I just”—she tucks a few strands of hair behind her ear—“didn’t picture you doing something so…normal.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’re a big, bad mafia man?” she offers.
“And that means I can’t enjoy a show every once in a while?”
“I dunno? I thought being part of the mob is a lifestyle choice, not a job,” she quips, giving me another glimpse of the old Q. “Am I wrong?”
“It is, but everyone needs some time to unwind and shit. How do you like to unwind?”
Aaand there’s the damn barrier again.
I can almost see it rise up a few more levels as I ask a question that apparently is too personal for her own liking. She chews her lower lip and suddenly finds an unhealthy fascination with the stained concrete beneath our feet that covers the entire gym area while ignoring me completely.
“Blue?” I prod.
“Just shows and stuff.”
“What kind of shows?”
“Depends on the time of year.”
“For example…?” I let my voice trail off in hopes that she’ll throw me a bone and fill in the blank.
“Like Christmastime.”
“And?” I press. It’s like every damn conversation turns into an interrogation with her.
“And watching the Hallmark Channel?”
“Like the sappy love shit?”
That same blush spreads from her cheeks out to her ears and down her neck, and I bite back my laughter at how uncomfortable this conversation is making her.
“It’s stupid.” She tries to step around me, but I grab her bicep and keep her in place.
“It’s not stupid. I’m just…surprised.”
Her attention is glued to my hand encompassing her arm. “Why is that so surprising?”
“Because it’s so…normal for someone like you.”
“Someone like me?” Her gaze darts up to mine and damn near acts like a microscope on my soul. Like a switch has been flipped, she lifts her chin and spits, “Someone who was kidnapped, raped, and tortured? Is that what you mean?”
“What?” With my hands raised in surrender, I attempt to defuse the situation. “That’s not what I meant—”
“Then what did you mean?”
“The first personal thing I’ve learned about you is that you like Hallmark movies. You’ve kept everything else in the dark, and anytime I’ve tried to pry, you’ve ignored me completely or clammed up, making me feel guilty as hell for asking in the first place.”
“That’s because I’m not anyone special, D. I’m just a normal girl who was in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
“And where were you? When you were taken?” I push.
“It doesn’t matter—”
“Maybe it does.”
“No. It doesn’t. Because the girl from my past is long gone. She disappeared the moment I was kidnapped, held down, and fucked in the ass, okay?” Wrenching herself out of my grasp, she storms off to shower. Her march is fueled with animosity as she disappears around the corner and leaves me alone with my guilt over a crime I didn’t even commit.
What the hell just happened?
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I dial Lou.
“Yeah?”
“Hey,” I reply. “I need you to do me a favor.”
“What kind of favor?”
“I need you to download as many Hallmark movies as you can, then send them over to me.”
“Hallmark movies?” Lou questions. I can almost see his look of confusion.
“Yeah,” I grit out. “The Christmas ones. Think you can do that for me?”
After a slight pause, he returns, “Sure thing. Anything else?”
“That’s it. Do we have any updates on the families? Anyone looking for her?”
“King asked Dex to take care of the buyer who’d been set up to purchase Q after the tournament, but other than that,