the giant koi fish in the pond out yonder. Despite my impersonation of a semi-gracious person with him earlier.
The bottom line? I can’t take much more of this uncertainty. Swear to God, I’m not cut out for it. I’ll do whatever I have to do to get myself out of this purgatory of seething jealousy and uncertainty. I don’t know what deceit, bribery, trickery or other nefarious activities I may need to engage in to get her to give me a real chance, but if she does, I swear I’ll treat her like the princess she—
Knock-knock-knock.
Startled, I drop my hands. Cock my head and listen again.
Knock-knock-knock.
It’s the front door. I jump up and hurry toward it, propelled by sudden excitement and that evil hope again. It seems like pride should make a token appearance at a moment like this, when I’m wearing my heart on my sleeve, my face and every other part of my body, but nope. Pride has finished its shift and clocked out for the night, leaving me alone with Carly and my wildest desires.
I throw the door open, and there she is. Wearing that sexy blue dress. With her hair down around her shoulders and her eyes sparkling. And sporting a seductive half-smile that lights up her face until it shines.
My heart leaps, making my breath catch.
I don’t ask questions. When someone leaves a gift-wrapped and shrink-wrapped package of Benjamin Franklins on your front stoop, rings the doorbell and runs off, you don’t ask questions. You just thank your lucky stars and start unwrapping.
So that’s what I do.
I stoop just enough to wrap my arms around her waist, lift her straight up and swing her inside, nudging the door shut against the rest of the world and reveling in everything about her. Her triumphant laugh. Her warmth and strength as she presses closer and twines her arms around my neck. Her scent of lavender and the incendiary way she says my name, “Damon,” as though she’s already coming for me when I know this thrilling night is just getting started.
I carry her down the world’s longest hallway as fast as I can, the thunk-thunk of her heels as she kicks them off her feet urging me to go faster. Inside the bedroom, I loosen my hold just enough to flip the wall switch and light up the place with a few strategically placed lamps. No way am I missing the chance to see and appreciate every inch of this woman after I blew the opportunity the last time.
Then it’s over to the bed, where I set her on her feet and rip back the covers to reveal pristine white sheets that seem to be waiting for us. She doesn’t appreciate me opening any space between us and clings to my neck and shoulders the whole time, staring me in the face. I’m not gonna lie, it’s easy to get drunk on this avid attention. I’m not worth it, but I’m not going to tell her that. Not when she acts like the secrets of the universe are hidden behind my eyes, if only she can see that far.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
She hesitates, her color rising. “Did we imagine it, Damon? How good it was last time?”
This is the dumbest question imaginable, edging out Will you build this skyscraper for free? and Would you mind if I murdered you right now? by a mile.
“We didn’t imagine anything.”
I start to kiss her, but she cups my cheek and rubs her thumb across my lips, stopping me. “I’m so scared of you right now,” she whispers.
I tense, hating the implication that I’d ever hurt her. In any way.
“Why?”
She pauses to get her thoughts together, and those big blue eyes are all I see. Wide. Uncertain. Achingly vulnerable.
“Because I know if I give you an inch, you’ll take a mile. And I still want to give you that inch.”
Listen, no one ever accused me of being emotionally intuitive, sensitive or even thoughtful. I’m a real estate guy. I understand building shit, financing shit and marketing shit. That’s about it. So I have no fucking idea what she means by that. Only that it seems important to her. If she had the faintest idea of how she’s possessed my brain since the second I met her, she’d stop wasting her own precious time with the insecurities.
But if she wants to talk about fear, I know from fear.
I grip her head on either side, catching handfuls of that