out of his place tomorrow. I can’t believe I let my fears help destroy us.”
“After you shower, I’ll take you for a drive. Like we’ve done every day for weeks.”
“Harry, you're an exceptional friend. You’d make some beautiful woman happy.”
“Since I’ve returned from active duty, I haven't given a relationship much thought.”
“Well it’s time to think about it.”
“Don’t turn the focus from you to me. When was the last time you ate?”
“I haven’t eaten a meal. I’ve eaten snacks.”
He rubbed his brow. “I can’t let you and that baby starve. I’ll be in the living room. We’ll grab a bite to eat first.”
“Sounds good.”
Harry closed the door as he exited the bathroom.
I peeled off my wet clothes, then adjusted the water temperature. The last time Collin and I showered together came to mind. His soapy fingers ran figure eights over my skin. I was so ticklish. He loved to make me laugh. All of our memories plagued my thoughts over the last few days. I enjoyed watching his face light up when his team scored. Collin loved sports. On Sundays, I watched him and a group of guys play football in the park. His smile was so bright when his eyes met mine. He mouthed I love you from across the field. I mouthed I love you too. He fought tooth and nail for me. But I hadn’t fought for him. Fuck, he really loved me with his entire heart. How could I be so blind? I can’t lose him.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
COLLIN
Standing at the counter, staring at the pregnancy tests, I thought my heart would leap out of my chest. I was going to be a father. How poorly my dad treated me growing up flashed in my head and I shut down. I put all the blame on Kara and pushed her away. The idea that I could be an asshole to my kids like my father was to me, terrified my inner being. Thought it would be easier to walk away from her. But it wasn’t.
I sat at the bar until four in the morning, drinking my sorrows away. Kara was my first and last love. If I couldn’t be with her, then I knew I’d be a bachelor for the rest of my life.
Every day I fought for us. I showed her how deep my love was for her. I poured out my heart. Revealed the real me to Kara. I could be a big kid at times. She didn’t mind. She’d behave just as silly. Kara sometimes hid behind the kitchen counter, waited until I walked by, then shot those foam bullets into my arms and chest. My face hurt from laughing so hard. I hadn’t laughed that hard in years.
I’d crush anyone who disrespected my woman. My heart. If Kara wasn’t my woman, I’d still fight for her. That was how incredible she was to me.
Our sex life was incredible. Staring into her brown eyes as she sat on her throne…my dick. The adoration I held for my queen could never get old. The bliss on her face delighted my soul. I worked hard to ensure she came every fucking time. I was hungry for her next cum face.
I made love to the only woman I wanted in my life.
In public, she never pushed me away. She jumped on my back and smothered me with kisses. I rarely slept at night. All because I wanted to watch her sleep. I was, and I am obsessed with Kara Riley. I found myself putting distance between us at times. Because I was seriously crazy in love with her. I didn’t want her to think I was a fucking psycho. Kara was that relaxing hit of a joint between my lips. I hadn’t smoked since college, but I remembered how relaxed I felt. Once Kara moved to L.A., she became my sense of calm. The urge to party often became nonexistent.
We didn’t fight. I always hated when she’d say never mind or wouldn’t tell me what was on her mind. And she hated how I told everyone she belonged to me. I’d do it again. Wouldn’t change a thing. She was my woman. Everyone needed to stay clear of what was mine.
What hurt the most, I didn’t feel like Kara fought for us to stay together. The idea darkened my heart.
I wanted her to tell me I was crazy, and we’d raise our child together right here in California. Bringing up Alaska-- her home and how much she missed