it would be feasible.
It was amazing how washing my hair seemed like a daunting task. Moving at all was damn near impossible. If I could have stayed in bed for a whole month I still didn’t feel like it would be enough time for my body and mind to recover from the stress I was under.
I stayed in the shower until the water turned cool. When I stepped out I walked up to the steamed mirror and wiped it so I could see my reflection. My eyes seemed sunken in, and there was little color to my face. The past few days had taken a toll on me, and if I didn’t start pushing myself forward I was afraid my hair would either begin turning gray, or worse – thinning.
I hated the person staring back at me. For being much younger than my husband, he looked the same age. I needed a do-over. I needed to go back to the moment I began letting myself go and reevaluate what was important to me, instead of always trying to do everything at once.
Once I managed to dress in something other than yoga pants, I decided to go out and have my hair cut. It was time for a change, and what better reason to do it? My long hair was in need of a new appearance. Grayson had always preferred length. Since Kyla also had long locks, I longed to be different. If he couldn’t appreciate the change, it was his loss. As far as I was concerned, I wanted to be the polar opposite of the girl who tried to steal my husband from me.
It wasn’t long before my hair was full of foil in three different shades of dye. While waiting for it to set, I got a manicure, and instead of my usual French polish, I chose a dark red. It felt sexy and dirty; something I’d never been able to pull off before. I had my brows waxed for the first time in my life, and let me just say it wasn’t a pleasant experience. A large welt was left where the hot goop was ripped from my skin. They said the swelling would go down eventually. Lord I hoped so.
Finally, my hair was rinsed and then cut. I think I held my breath when I watched her take the scissors and cut at least ten inches off the back. My new style sat at my shoulders, and even with it still wet, my natural waves were coming to life. In the reflection I could see the three different colors as she smoothed my hair with a comb. The blonde streaks were a new addition alongside a tiny bit of red. Against the dark chocolate they really popped. Already it appeared that I’d shaved off several years from my appearance, making a small part of me feel good. Once it was styled, my hairdresser spun the chair around and let me see the finished product. I needed a good bit of makeup, but I still loved the new me even without it. I looked younger, sexy even. Then for a second I thought about Grayson, and what he would think when he saw it. I wanted him to be angry, like I’d done it to spite him, because in all honesty, I think I had.
My ride back to the house was much different than the morning. I wasn’t dwelling in the negative. Sure, I still had a ton on my mind, but I was determined for one day to pretend my problems didn’t exist. I had an opportunity to change my life, workwise, and it was important to remain focused so I’d be on my game when the time came to produce.
I’m not really sure why I thought it was a good idea, but I dug in my step-daughter’s closet and pulled out a slinky black dress she’d worn to a New Year’s Eve party. Since we were about the same size, I knew it would fit. Getting Chad to listen to me wouldn’t be hard, but catching every bit of his attention would require a little scheming. I knew I’d feel uncomfortable in the dress, but I was going to pull it off. My livelihood depending on nailing this dinner meeting. Chad needed to know I was serious, and could do whatever was required in order to make it happen.
Since I didn’t have to work on my hair, I focused on my makeup, going a bit