the pressure drains. I can't believe I'm sat on his arm while he holds a pee-pot under me.
'No stage fright then?' he asks softly.
I open my eyes and find him crouched in front of me, his spare palm holding the top of my thigh. His face looks distressed and tired. 'You've fucked me up the arse. I'm coping.'
'Ava, will you watch your fucking mouth?' he sighs, but there's relief in his voice.
I'm half tempted to tell him to fetch the anti-bacterial solution and spray it in my mouth, but I'm too busy wracking my brain trying to figure out how I ended up in hospital. The last thing I remember is seeing Jesse stood in the doorway looking murderous. I remember being both concerned by his expression as he ran towards me and pissed off that he couldn't leave me in peace for one evening.
I get some crispy, stiff toilet paper and sort myself out. 'I'm done. Did I pee on you?' I ask with little concern as I make to stand, giving Jesse just enough time to remove the cardboard bowl before I fall back down onto the seat.
He shoves the bowl on the back of the toilet. 'No, give me your hands.'
I hold them out and feel Jesse's hands smother mine, rubbing and working in the anti-bacterial spray. He holds me up and pulls my knickers back up and my dress down, before lifting me into his arms and taking me back to the hospital bed.
'It's on the back of the toilet.' he snaps shortly as we pass the nurses' station. I reluctantly release him as he lowers me onto the hard, crumply bed.
'Ava, what happened?' Kate's voice is laced with complete concern, a rare reaction from her.
'I don't know.' I reply, resting my back against the headboard. I feel incredibly sleepy again.
'I do!' Jesse exclaims, looking at me accusingly.
I use all of my depleted energy to throw him a filthy look. 'I wasn't drunk!'
'You pass out from being sober often, do you?' he yells.
It makes me wince, piercing at my tender ears. He has the decency to look remorseful when I re-open my eyes.
'Don't shout at her!' Kate defends me. I'm grateful. He throws her a look, stuffs his hands in his jean pockets and starts pacing up and down the room. Sam moves out of his way. He really is quiet for Sam. 'She had a few glasses of wine. She's got through two bottles before and not passed out.' Kate sits next to me and rubs my arm. 'Did you eat?'
I cast my mind back. 'Yes.' I answer. Jesse fed me all day, between shipping clothes up the stairs and getting his fix of me.
Jesse stops with the pacing, his lip getting a punishing chomp from his teeth. 'Are you pregnant?' he asks, watching me carefully and returning to the chomping.
What?
'No!' I blurt, shocked at his forwardness, but then I freeze.
Oh good God!
My pills. I've not replaced my pills! I suddenly feel faint again. I'm hot too. Oh, what a stupid woman I am. I've been having sex like a rabbit and with no protection. How did I let that slip? I glance at Jesse and pull my best unaffected face.
He narrows his eyes on me. 'Are you sure?'
'Yes!' I wince at my own shrill voice, tensing my arm to prevent my natural reflex from giving me away. Jesse and everyone else in this room will assume my tone is defensive. It's not - it's completely freaked.
'I'm just asking.' He resumes pacing.
'What do you remember?' Kate asks, continuing to stroke my arm.
I reflect on the evening, but I'm struggling to remember anything now. All I can think of is how many pills I've missed and what the chances are of me being pregnant. I battle to fight off the worry and try to remember something, anything of last night. I remember Matt, but I won't be mentioning him. Then I remember the swollen, slicked, ponytailed guy, but I won't be mentioning him either. I shrug. There isn't a lot I can say without sending Jesse into neurotic orbit. Oh God, please don't say I'm pregnant.
'Hey, chick,' I feel Sam take my other hand and start circling his thumb in his palm. 'Think hard, yeah?'
'I don't remember.' I say clearly and concisely, still resisting the temptation to play with my hair. 'Why is everyone making such a bloody fuss?' I throw my head back on the pillow again and regret it immediately. I feel like I