saw that side of him. The last thing he’d ever been to me was scary, but then again, I’d never crossed him or made him upset.
“So, you’re okay with me leaving early to go watch Chance play?”
“That’s what you’re doing? Watching him play baseball?”
“Yeah, his season starts two weeks before the semester does. I want to go to a game before everyone’s back in school. Plus, I really want to talk to him about everything in person. And sitting here, waiting to do that, is kind of killing me, to be honest.”
My dad smiled like he couldn’t have approved of what I was saying more. “Go get your baseball player.” He reached for my hand and squeezed, and my mom’s face flashed in my mind.
“I miss Mom.”
“I do too. Every single day.” He released a breath, and even though I knew we both missed her, we didn’t bring up the subject often. It was still too painful, even after all these years. Life had continued after she left, but it was forever changed and not quite the same.
“I wish she were here,” I said, not trying to make my dad feel worse but it was true. I wanted to talk to her about Chance, and I wanted her to see how I was growing up.
“I’d give anything to have her back here with us and healthy. Everything I do is because of her and for you. I know you miss her, and I know I’m a piss-poor substitute.”
“No, Dad, you’re great,” I tried to interrupt, but he talked over me.
“No. Listen. Your mother was my best friend, but she was yours too. And I know there are things that a girl needs her mom for. A dad just isn’t the same. And I’m so sorry she got sick. I’m so sorry you’ve had to grow up without her. But I promise you this”—his hand squeezed mine again—“she’s with you even if you can’t see her.”
“You really believe that?” I asked because I’d never expected to hear that kind of spiritual talk from him. He was so logical.
“Absolutely.”
“Does she watch over you too?” I pressed, wanting to know more about this side of him.
“I know she does. I feel her sometimes. And I dream about her. Those are the best.” A faraway look appeared in his eyes, and I felt his love for my mother even though she was no longer here.
“I used to dream about her too. But I haven’t for a while now,” I said, almost forgetting that she used to come to my dreams nightly when she first passed.
How did I forget that?
“Doesn’t mean she isn’t still around, okay?” His expression softened as he looked directly into my eyes, and I nodded.
“You’ll think about coming out to visit?” I asked, hoping he’d say yes.
In all the time I’d lived in California, I’d never been bothered by him not coming to visit me there. He was always slammed with work and I understood. But now, I almost couldn’t bear the thought of him staying in New York and not coming out at least once before I graduated. I really wanted him to meet Chance and watch a game with me.
“Depends on what little Carter’s answer is.”
His response made me smile.
“I love you, Dad.”
“I love you too, sweetheart. And just so you know”—he pushed back from the table and stood tall—“we’ve never been prouder,” he said, speaking for himself and my dead mother.
And I almost lost it. Again.
Surprise Visits
Danika
Even though I wasn’t leaving until tomorrow evening, my bags were already packed and sitting by the front door.
I’d texted Sunny to let her know that I’d be home early, and she replied with, Thank God. My parents are driving me nuts, and I need an excuse to leave them.
Sunny hated staying in our apartment alone, so whenever I left to go home, she usually did too. It was just one more thing that we were completely opposite in. I relished in my alone time, and she’d do anything to avoid it.
I was in the kitchen, making a sandwich, when the bell dinged, indicating that someone had arrived on our floor from the elevator.
We lived on the Upper East Side in a historical building that had been built in the 1930s. A lot of incredibly rich and famous people had lived here throughout the years, but for the most part, it had been a quiet place, growing up.
The majority of the units had been in families for generations and were owned by