time.”
“Just be there for her. She needs that. Especially right now.”
This was maddening. “What, exactly, is going on? What position is she in? What do I need to do?”
“Talk to her. And let me say this: That woman is not just my colleague, she’s my friend. I’d never speak so informally or even broach the topic if I wasn’t so close with Zora, and if I didn’t see that look in your eyes. You’re not going to stop, are you, until you get what you want?”
I let out a breath, recognizing the truth in her words. “That’s right.”
She nodded, her eyes on her feet. “Well, then I need to let you know, business relationship or not—if you hurt her, I’ll pull your testicles through your throat.”
That made me smile. “You know, for a gynecologist, your take on anatomy—”
“Don’t be a smart-ass.” She shaped her small hand into a fist. “Just remember. Through your throat. Got it?”
I nodded, my hand absently massaging a pattern into Zora’s back. “I got it.”
Chapter Fourteen
Zora
I hadn’t planned on visiting my parents before my morning drive to Knoxville. Even as I turned the corner and piloted my car past the familiar brick homes and waved to dog-walking neighbors, I asked myself what the hell I was doing. I’d been out of sorts and unsettled ever since Nick’s appearance, yes, but there was no way I could air any of that out to my parents. Not when I needed to reassure them that everything was fine. Under control. Intact and regularly scheduled as usual. Those were our roles, anyway, and so far, everything about Nick left me shaken and off my game. So, why was I, along with the ball of confused feelings in my chest, headed to my parents’ house? What was I looking for?
I let myself in the front door, shucking off my flats at the front door before I headed down the hallway and into the kitchen where my father sat at the kitchen table eating breakfast. He lowered his newspaper to observe my approach, then grinned. “ZoZo! Whoa! This is a nice surprise.”
I laughed at my father’s exaggerated intake of breath as I padded into the kitchen on bare feet. God, I hadn’t expected to feel such overwhelming relief at being home. Lately, I hadn’t seen my parents as often as usual, and I had my reasons. It wasn’t easy to admit personal defeat to the two people who’d raised me to endure and triumph over any difficulties I encountered in life. Lately my endurance had been badly frayed and any chances of a victory seemed further and further away. And I didn’t want to be fussed at or lectured for admitting that I suddenly wasn’t sure about a lot of the things I’d always taken for granted. I hadn’t realized until Nick reappeared just how far my life had fallen into disrepair. Just how unhappy I was. But now, here in my family’s home, I was again a smaller part docked into a larger unit, no longer adrift in the world. I inhaled the scent of cooling cinnamon rolls on the stove and relaxed at the soft bubbling of percolating coffee. I sighed at the quiet rush of reassurance that came from being in this very familiar space.
Both the epic and mundane had occurred at this very kitchen table. My parents had presided over many a scrabble between my siblings and myself, meted out punishments over large and small infractions, and celebrated our triumphs. Memories assaulted me as I stopped and really took in my father, surrounded by all the little tchotchkes and mementos accumulated in our harvest-themed kitchen. It was a testament to the life my parents had built together, a lifetime of loving, fighting, making up, and loving even more fiercely than before. I couldn’t help but remember how a younger me dreamed of having this very same life with Nick. I’d imagined meeting Nick’s eyes over our own breakfast table every morning, and slowly adding highchairs of squirming children. But it wasn’t in the cards for me. My chance with Nick ended years ago.
And I didn’t see it happening with Jackson. So the best I could do was choose to be happy in all the other areas of my life. To nourish and build upon those areas that were . . . well, a hot ass mess at the moment. Right? Because ultimately it was far more important to concentrate on real, tangible accomplishments. Things that would stand up