I really mimed working a clit?
Fuck.
Heat crawled up the back of my neck.
Adesola grinned at me. “Never mind, I think I know which one now.” She threw a teasing look at Zora. “Yep, you two are from the same tribe. Excuse me for butting in. I heard Zora was here and I just wanted to stick my head in and say hello. I heard about the grant. I’m sorry, Z.”
Zora’s already strained expression tightened further. For the first time I recognized the weariness in her face. “It’s okay. Part of life, right?”
“Right,” Adesola agreed, lips twisted. “Wanna catch up later, talk next steps?”
“Yeah.”
I watched Zora and the new notch between her brows.
Adesola’s gaze moved between the two of us before settling on Zora. A grin suddenly spread across her face. “Well. I’ve got rounds. Nice to meet you, Zora’s Friend. You kids have fun in the closet.”
Chapter Six
Zora
I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.
I couldn’t do this.
I picked my way down the clinic hallway, feet screaming with each excruciating step. Nick’s presence behind me warmed my neck and sent my stomach into aching spasms. But I did my best to slow my stride, trying to shuffle forward at a dignified, measured pace.
I had a feeling I looked like a peg-legged parrot lurching down the hall.
God help me, it was all falling apart. All my carefully constructed walls and boundaries were in danger of crumbling the longer I was around him. I was reassured by the qualities I remembered while also confronted with new data that ultimately proved I didn’t know who he was.
Not anymore.
I remembered that same sharp interest, the curiosity that fueled so many of our childhood imaginations. But there was also a new edge to him, a subtle cloak of power that made me vaguely uneasy.
I needed to get away from him. Quickly. Away from him, and that knowing gaze, to someplace with a chair.
I’d arrived at the hospital early, wanting to get myself ready for this moment. I’d listened to a meditation curated by my favorite TV life coach in my car. It was supposed to help me center my energy and prepare to conquer any challenges I encountered. “You can do this,” I’d repeated at top-volume, clenching the steering wheel as I screeched and drew startled glances from passersby. You are strong. You are capable. You are prepared for anything that happens today. Then I’d freestyled: It doesn’t matter how long he’s been gone, it doesn’t matter what he has to say. It doesn’t matter that he looks like a tree in need of climbing.
He broke your heart.
You will get through this. Done and over with.
And then, seeing him in the lobby, I’d gone numb.
He’d met me at the coffee shop adjacent to the hospital’s entrance. He was in all black, in jeans and a black sweater that looked soft to the touch and did little to hide his sculpted torso. Gripping a coffee cup, he’d fixed an intent stare at the opposite entrance. I was happy to have the element of surprise when I approached him from behind, prompting a startled reaction from him.
The look on his face when he finally saw me, recognized me? Something like relief relaxed his features, followed by a wide smile. It was the Nick smile. The one that once belonged only to me.
And the redhead, I reminded myself.
I had to keep my feet planted in the memories, so I’d endeavored to be strong, to fortify my heart. After less than twenty minutes in his presence, I wasn’t feeling all that strong. I bit my lip, cursing the fact that there was another corner to turn, another corridor to walk through.
Why did I wear these shoes?
Don’t pretend you don’t know why.
Self, pipe down if you only have judgmental things to say.
But yeah, I did know why.
I’d gone on a Googling spree after Leigh and Walker left, unable to stop myself from pouring over images of Nick. Nick at a gala with an actress from one of my mother’s favorite soap operas, handsome in a tux. Nick running on the beach with a New York socialite in the Hamptons, defined abs on full display. When Leigh showed up in my doorway with her revered Jimmy Choos, I took them and figured I’d just have to take one for the team.
I’d needed to recalibrate the power differential I’d felt ever since the moment he and Nellie showed up in my doorway and I’d ended up on my