rose.
‘But when will she come?’ the little girl was saying.
‘When you’re asleep she will stroke your hair. Just like she used to, remember?’
‘But I want to see her.’
‘You won’t see her, but you’ll feel her. You’ll feel that she is near you, I promise.’ I could hear a crack in the man’s voice.
‘But when those men took her …’
‘Let’s not talk about that.’
The little girl let out a sob. ‘But when they took her she was crying. Why did those men take her? Where did they take her? Why was she crying?’
‘Let’s not talk about this now. Go to sleep.’
‘You said they would bring her back. I want to go back home and get her. I want to go home.’
‘We can’t go home.’
‘Never?’
The man didn’t reply.
Then there was a shout outside, a man’s voice, and a deep thumping. The sound of beating? A body being beaten? I wanted to get up to see what was happening, but I was afraid. There were footsteps outside the cabin, and people running, and then there was quiet and eventually the distant sounds of the waves drew me in, took my mind away from where I was, far away into open water.
I woke up to the sound of the birds. There were voices and footsteps and I noticed that Mohammed was not in the cabin, and Afra was still asleep.
I went out to find him. People had ventured out of their cabins to catch the warmth of the sun, others were hanging clothes on the lines in the alley. Children were jumping over the puddles or punching balloons onto the barbed wire with their fists, like volleyballs, laughing as they popped. I couldn’t see Mohammed among them.
I noticed soldiers walking around, guns in their belts. I made my way to the old asylum building; I’d been told there were services and a children’s centre. There was something haunting about the island – half-finished crumbling properties, empty storefronts – as if the residents themselves had suddenly run out of there in a hurry, leaving the place to fall apart. Windows like eyes opened into dark uninhabitable buildings. Shutters hung off their hinges. The old asylum was like some place from a nightmare. In the hallway there was a huge unlit fireplace behind cast-iron bars; a staircase led up and around towards voices that were echoing from other rooms on other floors.
‘What do you need?’ a voice behind me said.
I turned around: a girl in her early twenties, sun-kissed cheeks, a dozen silver hoops in one ear and one in her nose. She was smiling but she looked tired, the skin beneath her eyes purple. Her lips were cracked.
‘I was told there were resources here. I wanted to get a few things for my wife.’
‘Third floor, to the left,’ she said.
I hesitated. ‘And I’m looking for my son.’ I looked over my shoulder as if Mohammed might just appear behind me.
‘What does he look like?’ the girl said, yawning. She covered her mouth. Her eyes swam. ‘Sorry,’ she said, ‘I didn’t sleep well. There was trouble last night.’
‘Trouble?’
She shook her head, holding back another yawn. ‘The camps are getting too full, some people have been here so long, it’s hard to …’ She stopped there. ‘What does your son look like?’
‘My son?’
‘You just said you were looking for your son.’
‘He’s seven. Black hair, black eyes.’
‘You’ve just described most of the boys here.’
‘But they have brown hair and eyes. This boy’s eyes are black. As black as the night. You can’t ignore them.’
She seemed preoccupied now, taking a phone out of her back pocket, checking it so the screen lit up the shadows on her face.
‘Where are you staying?’ she said.
‘In the cabins by the port.’
‘You’re lucky you’re not in the other place.’
‘The other place?’
‘Does your wife need clothes? There’s a boutique upstairs. I’ll take you.’ The hallway started to get busier, people from so many parts of the world. I could hear variations of Arabic, mixed in with the unfamiliar rhythms and sounds of other languages.
‘Your English is very good,’ she said as we climbed the stairs.
‘My father taught me when I was a child. And I was a businessman, in Syria.’
‘What kind of business?’
‘A beekeeper. I had hives and I sold honey.’
I watched her flip-flops as they slapped against the soles of her feet.
‘This island was a leper colony once,’ she said. ‘This asylum was like a Nazi concentration camp. People were caged and chained without names or identities. The children here were abandoned, tied